Homesick [Tor/Death]

[°Crow°]

I thought it would be fun to use one of my first tables when crow first met tor <3

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[atrb=background,http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q21/winkatuck/fhfghghcopy-1.png,true][scrolly:h(150),w(300),sy,c(transparent)]The days had been far and few between for the yagi as his pelt seemed faded and more like it used to be when he met her. His nose plastered to the dirt as it slowly became sand dunes and familiar crashing of waves. Where had their relationship gone? Crow always knew Tor was one to avoid confrontation, but he needed to know what was going on in her head about Nelio. He couldn't stand it anymore, he wouldn't let her be second best to no one, after all she was is first actual friend who didn't try to lose him or brush him off. No, over the last year Crow began to understand what many things meant... though having a mate was still hazy to him... everything that had come up to him about it pointed out that Tor was his answer, his comfort. He didn't care if she didn't feel the same way anymore. He was through trying to woo her, if he had to be her shadow regardless of where she went to make sure she was okay. Then so be it. Crow would do all in his power to keep her from harm's reach. He just hoped when he caught up with where ever she went that they could return to the rest of the circus safely. The sun was already hitting the ocean and would soon set below the cool blue waters of the ocean. Wait. The ocean? This exact spot, where the waters lapped at wolven paws and scooped them up, this is where Crow and Tor first met. He felt as if it was only yesterday they danced along the crystal grains, and how he cursed to himself about that lousy coconut tree he laid under. He glanced around the area to see the exact spot where the grass turned to sand and where the once tall palm stood, it laid broken into bits and covered in stray branches and rocks. It must have been that storm right before I left with the others. Crow sighed to himself, before running across the large beach towards a rocky cliff on the side. An all too familiar place where he and Tor had taken shelter and slept together until he found his own place. Speaking of Tor, it was the whole reason he had come here today. He had spotted her running along the border of the pack lands as if something were amiss. He too wondered if she were as homesick as he was. Then again, if that were true... where would his lovely merwolf be? He opened his maw to call for her but remembered she would not hear him. So her perch at the crown of the rocks and gazed over the massive ocean. Maybe, just hopefully, he would see her, and make up to her. [/scrolly]

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[Tortoiseshell Silvia]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=242424] tortoiseshell silvia

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=404845]                           s i l e n c e i s m y f r i e n d

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[bg=2c2c2c] [scrolly:h(350),w(378),sy]oh, so sorry for the wait and for this horrible post xD - - - - - - - - - The small, lithe cael was walking carefully along the shore, avoiding the lapping water. The sun was hot today, beating on her pelt heavily but she loved the sensation that came with it. The salty sea scent was stronger today but she didn't care. In fact, she had been really homesick, so everything at this beach was so precious to her. This was her home and Tortoiseshell had decided never to leave this place, at least not for a long time. The ocean was massive, not like that oversized puddle wolves called a lake. True, the lake was lovely but it was really insignificant compared to the mighty power and beauty of the sea. She slowly ended her pace, and turned around to face the horizon. The sky was bright eggshell blue, with the rich golden sun illuminating the sea almost golden green. Lifting her nose into air, Tor could tell that sunset wasn't too far off and, with that thought, a faint smile stretched on her slender muzzle. Even though, Tor felt completely harmonious here, she could not help feeling a twinge of guilt whenever she thought of the Circus wolves back at the lake. Especially of Nelio and Crow. Tor had decided to leave the lake so abruptly that she did not have time to let anyone know. Would they miss her? Of course, she knew Crow would, but would Nelio? Even though it had taken long for her to realise, she knew that her beloved cael and Tawny had grown closer. Closer than their so-called 'sibling' relationship. It had really hurt Tor, so now she harboured a deep hatred and envy for the golden-brown female cael. It had shocked her to find that it was much intenser than the one she had before when she was jealous of Dreamith. Perhaps it was because she somehow knew Nelio and Dreamith's relationship wasn't as strong compared to Nelio and Tawny's. However, at the same time, Tor felt a strong loyalty to Nelio, and it had hurt her immensely when she found out that she was still falling for him even harder with every passing second, knowing that he wasn't likely to feel the same way for her anymore. Hastily, she pushed those troublesome thoughts out of her head and suddenly her mind focused on her lovely Crow. Instinctively, the smile returned on her face. Crow... her loyal yagi. Much to her disappointment, she knew she would always see him as a friend, nothing more. Tor hadn't mentioned this to anyone, but she had tried so hard to see him under a new light but... it was impossible. Why, though? Was it because she was more inclined to her own species? That would explain her attraction to Nelio. Sighing heavily, she slumped to the sand, laying her head on her paws. She thought that if he did feel the exact same intense feelings for her, like she felt for Nelio, he must be hurting and she did not want that to happen. Almost scathingly, she told herself: if only Leo worries about my feelings, like I worry about Crow. But she shrugged it off as it was unlikely to happen. Well, if it did happen, it would be extremely hard for her to feel comfortable around Nelio again. Her paw made a small scratches on the sand, a small vent of her immense frustration before rolling onto her back, staring up at the rocks close to the cliffs. That was when she spotted a familiar figure of Crow. Her ears went forwards and her brows raised in confusion; she hadn't told anyone where she was going so how did... Of course, he must have followed her scent. All the way from the lake?! Tortoiseshell rolled back onto her belly and stood up, facing Crow with her expression showing obvious curiosity: why are you here? [/scrolly]

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[°Crow°]

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[atrb=background,http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q21/winkatuck/fhfghghcopy-1.png,true][scrolly:h(150),w(300),sy,c(transparent)]He wasn't sure what drove him to, but he continued to stare down on her when he noticed her approach the beach. How had he beaten her? Was he really that much faster on his land legs? The wind kicked up the sands in his direction and he knew when the subsided, she would be glaring at him like she was. Tor's words were sharp like daggers to his heart. Why couldn't she just accept the fact that she wasn't ever going to shake the yagi? He jumped from the rocks with quite the amount of grace but soon tumbled over into a dusty mess. He laughed before clearing his throat and shaking himself and walking up to her beautiful laid out form. His eyes glimmered with love and lust. He felt a strong feeling within him. Crow really did care for her... why was it so hard to have that feeling back? A simple, I love you too or slightest acknowledgement of affection? Too many questions. He wanted answers. Boldly he stated back to her sour tone. Because, I love you. I should ask you the same question really. He felt harsh for saying so but he had to be frank with her or she would just walk away like she had many times before without an answer. His stare was strong and almost cold and void of emotion when he finished. He felt like she was betraying them, all of them. He circled her with a motive. The waves making the same sound they always did against the soft grains of sand. How will you live without us? Without me? I'm surprised a predator hadn't eaten you yet. Tor! Look what you're doing to yourself! Move on if you're upset with Nelio! I was, but I got over it, and if I can I know you sure as hell can too! he growled as his green fur began to bristle. Why did he burn so much? What was fueling his anger so strongly? Was he slowly becoming a monster to jealousy? He padded away from her slowly as he contemplated pointing out all her flaws. How imperfect she was. That she was useless. But Crow was never like that to begin with and he couldn't start. I'm only here because I care about you Tor! If I really were anyone else, do you think or would you expect someone different?! I try hard, I really do. But this... The yagi laughed as he felt his rage boil longer, his tail lashing. He brought his head high above her now as he looked down on her pity. You. You. I just can't figure you out! The way I talk so highly of you, they think we're in love. Now I can see that you're just a selfish bitch with nothing but a black heart of greed! Oh so the great spirits help me. I hope you have a great life, cause I won't be in it! Seething and with small tears dropping from his golden eyes, the once proud yagi slouched as he took a couple feet from her and glanced back. Frozen in place, at loss for words and hurting for those he had spilled.[/scrolly]

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[Tortoiseshell Silvia]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=242424] tortoiseshell silvia

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=404845]                           s i l e n c e i s m y f r i e n d

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[bg=2c2c2c] [scrolly:h(350),w(378),sy]Tor's face was expectant, curiously waiting for answers. There was no trace of aggressiveness or anger in her face, at least not as far as she knew, so it was a shock for her when she saw Crow's face. His face was contorted in anger and disappointment. What had she done now? Well, except for not returning his love. Great Spirit knew how much she had tried. Suddenly a surge of anger boiled inside her, Crow was not right to be angry at her because of this! Did he know what it feels like forcing yourself to feel in the same way? It was horrible, and sickening. No wonder she had tried to avoid Crow. All he reminded her was of her failure. Crow's first retort set her on edge; Tor's hackles rose viciously and her face expressed disappointment and pain. What I do is not any of your business! With that thought, she snapped her jaws shut at Crow and a growl vibrated inside her throat. She suspected that he was thinking how she had betrayed the Circus by straying away. After all she had known him for a year now. Her ears twitched sadly. A year today. Today, one year ago, they met for the first time on this exact beach. It was awful how they had fallen apart and felt awkward while being with each other. Tor's disappointment was quickly replaced by fury when the yagi started his second speech. Surprised! Are you surprised! I am three years old now! Before I met you I survived two years all by myself! I am not some pathetic weakling that runs away with her tail between her legs whenever faced with an obstacle! She advanced with her jaws snapping loudly, as if she was speaking. And I dare you say that to me again! Her short tail lashed wildly behind her. And the thing with Nelio is not your business! It is between him and me alone! Tor's silver eyes darkened into slate grey in anger and her brown nostrils flared with each heavy breath. You? Got over me? Yeah, and whales do fly! Crow's next speech could have stabbed her in the heart, yet infuriated her. Again, he blamed her for not returning his feelings. You say I'm a bitch because I can't share your feelings. One can not force herself to feel something she wants to feel. Believe me, I've tried. Tortoiseshell raised her head, but now, I can see that it's good that I don't like you in that way. If you are being like this, before anything can ever happen, I don't want to imagine what you'll be like later on. She blew in annoyance and frowned up at him, Fine, leave! Go on and leave me. I dare you to try. Tor knew he wouldn't, no, he couldn't. [/scrolly]

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[°Crow°]

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[atrb=background,http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q21/winkatuck/fhfghghcopy-1.png,true][scrolly:h(150),w(300),sy,c(transparent)]Damnit Tor, why do you insist it's because I loved you that I am trying to make you feel the same way?! The yagi seethed again as the tears began to flow like a river of rage. He was beginning to worry if he would hurt her if this continued on any longer. He had never been so emotionally unstable. Yet, the feeling was welcoming, a sweet toxic sinking gut feeling he longed for all these moments when she simply talked down to him. He could easily kill her with his strength or even his body weight if he so desired. But how could Crow even think he could harm who was once his best friend. And to think. we were once friends on the same beach. Spending the days together and sleeping next to each other at night. I realized that we could never be more than friends ages ago. I just don't want you to hold onto something that is fake. I only wanted what was best for you. But apparently the best thing for you, is deception. Her next words stung and lingered on his mind like the perfect imprint of his former father and relatives. "I don't want you to try anymore, to feel for or like me... he lowered his head as he turned to face her. Slowly, he lifted his head up, his eyes somber and empty. I want you to move on and forget it. I only wanted to keep our friendship. But even that seems impossible at this point. to think only a year was all we could stand of each other... His next statement was cold as the wetness on his face burned like liquid fire. He shuddered as he took an aggressive pose, his horns aimed at her. His voice and thoughts mingling. "Tor, so the great spirit help me. Run, or I shall kill you myself, right here... right now. Don't think I won't hesitate." Crow whispered, his voice barely audible, but his thoughts crisp and clear. "For if I leave you, you can't come back...neither of us should be able to hurt each other again, even if it means I have to permanently dispose of you now.. cuz... cause I... I don't want to do this Tor... I want to say I can't, but... but it burns." The yagi began to sob and convulse uncontrollably as he tried to blink the water from his eyes. He shook his head and did the only thing he could think to do. He charged.[/scrolly]

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[Tortoiseshell Silvia]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=242424] tortoiseshell silvia

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=404845]                           s i l e n c e i s m y f r i e n d

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[bg=2c2c2c] [scrolly:h(350),w(378),sy]Tor bristled at Crow's thought-words, and kept silent throughout his mind-speech. She noticed how viciously the normally docile yagi appeared while spitting out words that were silly. He kept denying that he wanted her to at least try to return his feelings. Of course he did. Who wouldn't want to? Actually he should be thanking her for trying hard and respect her. She flattened her ears, disappointed with the look Crow had on his face. Her silver eyes left his amber ones upwards to trace his glistening spiralled horns with her fearless gaze. Despite his bulky size and horns that were capable of impaling her so easily, Tor was not afraid of Crow. She knew he would not hurt her. He... just wouldn't. He was not like his uncle, Sparta. Not even his father. Crow was the most kindest yagi she knew. He wouldn't even try to hurt him. Would he? Tor's ears prickled and her wide silver eyes grew even bigger when she heard the last piece of Crow's long-winded speech. This time his mind-voice felt more violent and ominous. Perhaps he wasn't bluffing? No! No. Don't be silly, Tor told herself. Crow would not even try to hurt her. He was only trying to scare her off. Her silver eyes darted side to side nervously when she saw Crow lowering his great head, both ends of his horns glinted dangerously at her. "NO! You would NOT!" She screamed at him both mentally and vocally; mind forming into these words, and her voice wordless. Then he charged. Now there was no time for her to move, so instead she just spat at him, "You ARE your uncle!" She feverishly hoped these words were going to hurt him so much. As far as she knew, he hated and feared his uncle so hopefully it would shake some sense into him. Just before he reached her, Tor could see the glittering silver streaking from his eyes, and she snorted nervously. Only three words were loud and clear in her mind. "You are pathetic." [/scrolly]

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[°Crow°]

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[atrb=background,http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q21/winkatuck/fhfghghcopy-1.png,true][scrolly:h(150),w(300),sy,c(transparent)]Everything went white as the yagi's breath shortened as his heartbeat quickened. He couldn't tell where he was anymore. Just that his horns had reached something, something soft and plush with bits of harder pieces inside whatever it was. His eyes widened as the only three words he heard from the lithe cael resounded over the beach as the sun has already set behind the cool blue ocean. He helplessly watched as he slowly came back to where he was. His anger and sorrow blinding him from what was happening. All he knew is that he could feel a warm liquid that trickled and splattered down his face. Out of instinct, he swung his head to the ground and into the dirt to get the substance off of him. He gasped and choked out inaudible words at the blood littering the sand as it dripped down his scrunched muzzle. His whole body trembling as he glanced around with blurry vision and hazy thoughts. Tor, Tor where are you?! This isn't funny! I.. I can't see you! Quit hiding! Fate be on his side, let the spirit throw prey at his charging form. Please let his best friend have run, spitting angrily at him and running away. He would rather her have run away to never see him again then anything else. The moon slowly rose as the cloudless sky darkened, not a single star lingering to guide Crow. Tor....Tor!!!" Crow sobbed uncontrollably as he laid down on the sand and tried to cover his face with his paws in shame. He dare not look up. He wouldn't, no... he couldn't bring himself to look up.[/scrolly]

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[Tortoiseshell Silvia]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=242424] tortoiseshell silvia

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][bg=3b3b3b] her silence ends with a shudder...

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[bg=2c2c2c] [scrolly:h(350),w(378),sy]Tortoiseshell Silvia saw nothing except for the grotesque anger on Crow's face, and how his face twisted to avoid looking at Tor once they collided. A blinding white pain flashed across her blank silver eyes. Then nothing. She blinked into the tawny-green fur and the musky scent. For some reason Crow's head was beneath her, at her delicate neck. She struggled, trying to withdraw from him. But she found out that if she did, her neck and chest refused to move with her. Confusion crossed her soft features, completely replacing previous mingled look of anger and disappointment. Then her neck and chest were released with an odd sensation. It was rather like removing something from something sharp. She didn't know. But at least she was free from whatever was trapping her. Tor collapsed onto the soft white sand, shocked with the sudden redness of the beach. She tried to let out a questioning whine but instead she felt something bubbling inside her throat. Literally bubbling. Blinking her eyes, she tried to look up at her friend. She opened her mouth to scream but only some sick bubbling escaped from her throat. Crow was very red. His majestic golden horns were slick with rich red blood. What? What was going on? She was suddenly frightened by that despairing look on Crow's gore covered face. Then he hid it with two of his massive paws. What? What wa--? Pain exploded in her chest. Then Tor knew. Crow had stabbed her in the throat. He wouldn't. But he did. It was done. Tor should have moved. She should have moved far away from him. Why had she trusted her with her life? Literally. Now he had broken her trust and her youthful life was bleeding from her tiny but horrifically broken body. She flung her head backwards weakly, arching her body, in a pathetic attempt to relieve the pain. Actually it worsened it. A thin bubbling sound escaped her lips as she moved her head to look at Crow. Her face wore the same despairing look and her eyes asked him why. Why did he do this? She might have been a hell to be with but even he knew she would never ever try to harm him. "You said... you... loved me!" Fear stirring in her tore chest transformed into rage. At least she could cope with dying while being angry. "You're... not Crow! You're Spar... Sparta!" She snapped her jaws together weakly but the look in her eyes dared him to laugh at her. A mint green yagi with antelope horns appeared in her feverish mind and she screamed breathlessly. Tor was suddenly frightened. Not because of that yagi, Sparta, but because of her unavoidable death. But. But, she had always thought she would die old. Or drowned. Either way was much more preferable than this bloody, gory death. She wailed and wailed, getting weaker with every passing second. Immediately she thought about Nelio. Then she felt sick. She would never ever see him again. Ever. His handsome muscular face and body. Her healthy fur and bright silver eyes. What had she said to him last time she saw him? Tor did not remember. However she could still remember his warm and strong body against hers. But he didn't care. She was sure of it. She was sure if he knew she was dying he wouldn't care. He had Dreamith and Tawny. Losing a female wouldn't mean anything to the dashing male if he had two spare females. She cried again, this time with the sorrow of not seeing him again. "Why did you do this, Crow?" Tor's glassy silver eyes passed over at him, staring at him. Suddenly his cowering pose reminded her of the soft yagi she had met at this beach a year ago. Exactly a year ago. She laughed loudly, hysteria rising inside her. Exactly a year ago she had met her murderer at this beach. Only he was disguising as her best friend. Her best friend. She whined. She wasn't alone. She still had her best friend, no matter what he did. At least she was going to die with him at her side than alone. "Crow... Crow!" Her paw scrambled, creating a deep bloody gouge in the white sand. "Come here! I don't want to be alone." She stared at him with her glazed eyes. "I love you." She actually meant it in a platonic way, but she didn't care however Crow interpreted it. It wouldn't make more problems. After all she was going to die. She struggled to lick him and tried to shift closer to him, but the pain inside her was too great, and her energy was nearly gone. "Crow!" Tor felt her eyes closing and herself slipping away. Suddenly she was tired. Letting her eyelids to close over her silver eyes, she felt her breathing getting shallower and faster. But somehow she felt at peace. "Crow." She shook her head slightly, and opened her eyes into slits, looking up at the darkening sky. Her gaze moved from the moon to Crow, "Good night." Her mind voice was barely a whisper but she hoped it was loud enough for Crow to hear. Then the gentle darkness rose, blocking everything out and drowning her carefully. And then... Nothing. [/scrolly]

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[°Crow°]

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[atrb=background,http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q21/winkatuck/fhfghghcopy-1.png,true][scrolly:h(150),w(300),sy,c(transparent)]The forest colored wolf took slow breaths to bring back his sense and see what was happening. He went into overdrive as his thoughts raced through his mind. Tor was bleeding to death! What should he do, how did it happen? Why didn't she tell him she wasn't going to move?! Crow never thought he could and would actually do it. He was just assuming if it were him, he would've run. It proved that his friend had more guts in the world than he would ever be able to muster. Now he only wished he could switch places with her, so at least she had something to live for, something and someone to chase after/ Even if it was fruitless and harsh, it was still a purpose to keep living on. His mind betrayed his body as his eyes latched onto what was left of the wolf he once loved. Why did he do it? Why couldn't he control his emotions? The stained blood on his face slowly washed away under his eyes as new tears began to form and drop like a new storm before the rain. His body wouldn't stand, his legs like jello. So he slowly crawled closer to her dying body, his pace quickening when she called feebly for him. His heart lurched to hear the next words, three of which he too cried out desperately as he thought he was going to cease to exist. He knew she would never love him the way he wanted, but just the fact that she finally understood and that he only meant well, was all he longed for her to know. "Shhhh, shhh, it's okay...I'm.. here..." it took all his strength he had left not to choke or tremble as he nuzzled the side of her neck, right above her wounds under her chin. The smell of blood and death was thick in the air as the yagi felt a cold and wet feeling on the side of his face. The cael, still trying to calm him as a mother he never had to care for him, even though she was on her death bed because of him. It was like she had forgiven him, even if he had taken her life out of greed. He watched, helplessly, as her body writhed in pain again and she cried out to him again. Then it came softer to him, her voice ringing in his head as she slowly drifted away, giving into the peace of death. Then she was gone. Crow then sobbed as he watched the life disappear from his closest friend. The night consuming them both as he laid his head on hers and cried to himself, prayed the great spirits wouldn't let her fade away. His body soon gave into the natural instinct of sleep, his face red and sore with new age and experience as his own friends blood. [/scrolly]

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