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Post by raja on Feb 27, 2011 10:18:29 GMT -5
Raja walked through the swamp, his very way he walked in a slump. What had he done? He had raped a female in his rage! He barely remembered it, it was all a blurr of hormones and terrible thoughts. Mainly, he thought she was pretty. And he had scarred her, possibly for life. If only he could make it up to her.. but how? When? She was not even a part of his pack. And now she was gone, the night over.. weeks had passed... Early spring had turned into the middle of spring. Flowers that had been starting to blossom were now beginning to bloom everywhere around him. Some were very pretty, and he stared at them. Maybe, if he could find her.. he could give her one of the rare flowers.. but how would he find her? He didn't even know where she resided. "Its hopeless..." He murmered with a sigh, inhaling deeply. He exhaled slowly, laying down on the mud. Stomach growled gently. He had had his rendevue. Now he had to pay the price of regret and fear that she'd hate him forever. Which.. she very well might.
Staring at his reflection in the water, he growled in spite of himself. He had to learn to control these rages. Something in him just snapped come springs first bloom. If this happened everywhere, he could.. no.. it wasn't possible. He'd stop it before he became a father.
Sighing at the very thought, he muttered, "No.. its not possible.. It was only once.. with a few females..." He trailed off. "Not prossible." He repeated, as if trying to convince himself. He stared at his reflection. Definatley not possible.. At least he hoped.
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Post by swifty on Feb 27, 2011 10:30:52 GMT -5
Swifty sat down, staring at the sky, thinking of that one, horrid night, monthes ago. The one that had caused her all this..This, confusion. The Yaga had jumped her, raped her, and left her to deal with it on her own. She hadn't told her pack yet...That she was having puppies. How would they react? Would they be angry with her? Ban her? Congradulate her? Forgive her? Only the future would tell, and she hoped the future had good answers. Suddenly, it hit her. The scent she smelled before, the scent of...Tha Yaga. A snort escaped from her maw and nose, a snort of disgust but curiosity as well. She might as well chew him off while he was here. Wherever he was.
As she followed the scent quickly, the outline of a horned being could be spotted farther out, and she let a tiny growl slip from her throat as she trotted closer, at a more furious pace this time, and finally, she was before him, and quickly she prodded him with her paw. "Hey, you!"
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Post by raja on Feb 27, 2011 10:39:28 GMT -5
What would he do if he ever ran into her? What would she say if they ever met again? How would he ever make it up to her? He couldn't.. he couldn't.. He did not want to, no could not face her. And he was just thinking about her when he caught a familiar scent. Oh no! No, no, no... No! Quickening his pace, he tried to change direction to walk away.. He heard paw steps behind him, approaching. No, you dumb female! He tried to avoid her, to avoid the inevitable confrontation.. but then he felt a paw upon his back as a furious female, one he regretablly recognized, was standing there, saying "Hey, you!" He could hear her growl. He replied with a heavy sigh. "Leave me alone." He said, walking away from her.
He looked out of the corner of his eye to see if she was still following. And when he did he saw that she looked.. bulky.. Heavy.. Had she just gained weight or.. No, it couldn't be. His jaw slackened slightly, he stared at her. "What do you want?" He asked, his voice sad. "Look, I've been beating myself up about it enough! I don't need you to come around just to..." He trailed off. "Look, why don't you go back to your pack. I'm sure they're all happy with you, and dandy. Why don't you just go tell them what happened and make me the outlaw like you always wanted?" He said, and turned away. "Its not like anyone cares, anyway." He murmered.
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Post by swifty on Feb 27, 2011 10:55:26 GMT -5
Swifty was left spechless as he acted with much aggression towards her. Sure, she was going to chew him off, but with that all said..She realized what it must be like, to have done something horrible like that. How he must be feeling...She let a sigh escape her maw. "I...Um..." She didn't know what to say now. Sympathy and empathy was something she was never good at. "Look. I'm not going to tell them who did it. I haven't even told them yet..." She searched for the right words. "I might care. Whats your name...?" She decided to ask him. She didn't bother to introdice herself, for she didn't know if it was a good idea yet.
How is she suppossed to tell him she's carrying his pups? How would he react? Would he be excited? Would he not care? Maybe confused...Sighing, she looked down at her white legs, and sat down, curling her tail over her paws. She was utterly confused. Shouldn't she be mad right now? She'd have to be relieved of her duties in the pack, if any, because of her pregnancy...The Alphas still don't know about it. She should be furious, sure, but she wasn't. She just wasn't angry with him for some odd reason.
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Post by raja on Feb 27, 2011 11:04:04 GMT -5
He started to walk away again, when he heard her stutter. "I.. um.." He paused, looking back at her. It wasn't like anyone cared for him anymore.. "Look I"m not going to tell them who did it. I haven't even told them yet..." His jaw dropped several inches. He couldn't believe his ears. Why was she being so.. nice...? Did she want something from him? No, she didn't care, but just as he thought that and voiced his thoughts, she said "I might care. Whats your name...?" He wondered for a moment if she'd trust him with her name, and if he should ask. No, that might be pushing it. He'd just answer her and leave her alone.
"Raja." He said abrutly, quietly. "It's Raja." He said, looking down at his paws. "And look... I didn't really.. have control..." He dared look at her for a moment, then looked off to the distance, averting his glance. "See.. I get these.. Rages... Its like.. a different me.. A part of me, not not even me, that I hate.. It's like some someone else is driving me to madness. I.. I'm sorry..." He said quietly, trailing off. He looked at her, her words coming back to him.. <I might care>... But.. why?
Glancing at her, he stumbled for words. "Why do you even care about me? Really.. you shouldn't.. maybe before, but.. not now... I'll just hurt you again...." He said, looking away. "Don't trust me. Not even I trust me."
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Post by swifty on Feb 27, 2011 11:32:09 GMT -5
"Raja..." She repeated his name, rolling it around on her tongue. She decided to tell him her name anyways, for he was obviously annoyed but he told her his name anyways. "Swifty. My names Swifty." She introduced herself, although she was still confused on how she should be acting right now. Now he was telling her about something he calls rages. Apparently, it wasn't him. "Look...Its fine...Your kind of cute anyways." She smiled a tiny bit, in a cute way. "You don't trust yourself...?" He must be telling the truth. She believed him, she truly did. "Anyways, Raja, I forgive you...I guess." She wasn't quite sure if she forgave him yet. Thats why she added the 'I guess' in there. It was a bit all too confusing for her still, and she was almost positive it was confusing for him. Or maybe he was just annoyed. Oh boy, wait until she tells him about the pups.
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Post by raja on Feb 27, 2011 11:42:33 GMT -5
She said his name, as if tasting a new flavor of meat for the first time, rolling over it.. thinking it over.. Then she said her name. "Swifty?" He repeated. "I like it." He said, he looked at her smiling as she called him cute. "You're not.. um.. bad yourself.." He said, then looked back to her belly. "Look.. are you.. Am I going to be a.. " He met her eyes and gulped, "I'm going to be a father.. aren't I?" He said. The realization of it hit him. Tiny, helpless, puppies.. growing, clinging to their mother... "They'll be afraid of me...." He said, looking away. "If you tell them, they'll hate me... They'll never want to know me." He ran through a flash of what might be, the pups running away, cowering behind their growling mother.. Swifty... As he was in his rage.. With those crazed eyes, his soul and true being lost to a inner being.. a horrible thing that controlled him.
Looking back at her with horror, he said, "What if the pups.. have the rage?" He said, "What if they... grow up.. And become- become.. like me!" He said, anguish in his eyes. He turned away, tears stinging his eyes. "This can't be happening... I mean... I'll love them like they're my own.. its great.. great that you're having puppies, just.. not this way.. Its.. I wish it wasn't happening like this. Not this way..." He said, daring to look back at her.
He gathered himself, looking at her. "I'll.. I'll be a good father... I'll raise them and love them with you.. its the least I can do... But... If you'd rather.. they never have to see me.. if you want it that way..."
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Post by swifty on Feb 27, 2011 11:52:13 GMT -5
"Thanks." Swifty smiled again, then let a subtle frown take its place as he realized she was having his puppies. That makes it easier for her, but not by much. "Raja...Yes, your going to be a father. And I do want them to know you. It'd be horrible for them not to know their father...And if they have the rage...I...I don't know. We'll have to figure something out, but we will, don't worry." She could feel tears at her icy blue eyes as well, not sure what they were going to do, but she knew they'd figure something out. It was her first litter, and she wasn't about to let them have a horrible life. If they did have the rage, she'd love them anyways. She wasn't about to ditch a helpless pup if it had hormonal issues...It'd be too much for her to take.
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Post by raja on Feb 27, 2011 11:58:37 GMT -5
Raja looked at her, tears finally drifting down his furry cheeks. His blurred vision still directed at her, he could hear the tears in her voice. She was crying, too. She wanted him to be a part of their lives... to be there for them. And then suddenly he knew how to make it right. How to make it all better.. at least a little bit. His tears subsided, and he walked over to her. "Swifty.. there's one thing I want... I want to do this the right way. I don't want them to grow up away from their father.. I want to be there for them.. " He said, looking deeply into her eyes. He looked at her, smiling softly. He looked deeply into her eyes, licking her muzzle softly, gently. He looked at her. Really looked at her. She was beautiful.
He looked into her eyes, "I can never be mates with you, for I have found my love already.. but I can be a great father for the puppies."
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Post by swifty on Feb 28, 2011 20:47:35 GMT -5
It struck her like a lightning bolt. He already had a mate. She had planned to run away to his pack...All that was gone now. She showed no sign of distress or depression on her face, for she had learned that emotions can be your worst enemy if you showed too many of them. So her face remained sad, only from the fact that she was pregnant with her pups, and he was of a different pack. She smiled though, when he licked her muzzle, and she let a quivering sigh escape her maw. "What do you mean...?" Was he saying that he could take the pups when they were born, and raise them on his own. What would they drink for the first month of their life? Maybe his love had milk...Yeah, that had to be it.
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