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Torment
Jul 4, 2011 20:13:49 GMT -5
Post by Torment on Jul 4, 2011 20:13:49 GMT -5
General Name: Tormentus Bane Alias: Torment, Ment Species: Keiyou Gender: Male Age: 2 1/2 years Pack: Loner Rank: n/a
Physical Height: 34 in. Weight: 49 lbs. Appearance: Torment was born not only a runt, but a rather oddly colored one at that. His form is slim and elegant, with a coating of well-trained muscles coating his light bones. His coat is soft and white, with twin streaks of black over grey from his nose tip down his sides, swirls of lavender purple along his paws, tail, and muzzle, and a light sky blue along the tips of his feathers. His eyes are a deep, thoughtful brown, often misted over in thought.
Torment's voice is soft and uncertain, and he often speaks with a stutter. Because of this, he doesn't speak very often, preferring a series of nods or head shakes to go through a conversation. When he does speak, he often ends up rambling. He rarely speaks with any real purpose, or, if there is a purpose, it never quite makes it out of his mouth.
Torment's stride on land is awkward and stumbling. He spends more time smashing into the ground then actually getting anywhere. In the air, Torment glides along almost gracefully, but at the first sight of danger, he works himself into a frenzy and beats his wings quickly, causing him to tire out after a short distance. Other: n/a
Mental Strengths: Polite- he stays on people's good sides Loyal- Once you're his friend, you're his friend for life Quick- to make up for his small size, he's developed his speed Attentive- he's constantly aware of others needs and desires Weaknesses: A Runt- His small size makes him easy prey Clingy- he doesn't like being left behind Gullible- he's easy to trick Overly trustworthy- it doesn't take much to get through to him Personality: Torment had to learn to be faster and smarter than others to make up for his lack of size and strength. He spends a good deal of his time traveling to learn as much as possible, and, because he's not very good in a fight, he's developed several strategies for avoiding the problem before it even becomes a problem.
For all of his knowledge, Torment is still easily deceived. He goes along with almost everything simply because he wants to be useful, no matter what the task may be. However, if something truly seems wrong to him, he'll run as far away as he possibly can, for fear of being associated with the wolf responsible.
When Torment makes a friend, he becomes fiercely devoted to them. He'll follow them where ever they may ask, and might end up being a little too devoted, often something of an annoyance in his loyalty. Because of this, his friendships are usually brief.
Never-the-less, Torment is a generally cheerful wolf. He finds his own path in the world, and works his way through whatever comes at him as best he can. History: Torment was born to a very superstitious family of wolves. They believed that any and all anomaly in the natural way of things could be taken as either a sign of a great blessing... or utter disaster.
When Torment was born, his mother instantly began to coddle him because of his small form, and treated him like a god. His odd colors, to her, meant that he was destined to be some great something. However, his father believed that the pup was the source of all kinds of misfortune. If it so much as drizzled over the pack lands, Torment's father would shoot glares at his son. His constant phrase, "This little thing is the source of all our torment," ended up giving the clueless pup his name.
Around the time Torment came of age, a fierce fire struck the pack lands. Convinced that the cause of the fire was his son, Torment's father banished him. This actually came as a source of great relief to the young wolf, who found the constant fighting between his mother and father to be a bit tiresome. However, not long after his banishment, Torment became sick of being alone, and fell into a deep depression.
It was around this time that Jaunt, a free-spirited lupus who also lacked a home, appeared. With his help, Torment was able to cope with not having a pack anymore. The two traveled together for several months, and eventually, much to both of their surprises, fell in love. This got them a bit of grief from the other wolves, but they pulled through.
Not too long after the pair found a place where they could stay in comfort, a group of wolves came through and decided that they wanted the space, and that Jaunt and Torment "weren't fit" to stay there. This was the beginning of a fight that would last several weeks, progressing from a few heated arguments to an all out battle. Jaunt was able to use his people-skills to win over a few of the enemy, but they were still vastly out-numbered. With Torment useless in battle, and so few in numbers, things looked grim for the two.
In the last fight between the opposing sides, Torment decided it would be better to jump in then sit on the sidelines and wait, and ended up taking down a few of the enemy. However, in that same fight, a fire not unlike the one that struck his original home started, scattering the battlers. In the confusion, Torment lost track of Jaunt, and when all was over, he was still nowhere to be found. With his small band soundly defeated, Torment slunk off of the place he had hoped to call home and went in search of his mate.
He has since then lost hope of ever being reunited with Jaunt, but still progresses in search of a new place to start over again. Other: Bought colors HERE Not sure about size for him being a runt, so if that needs to be changed, I can do that.
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Torment
Jul 14, 2011 1:08:49 GMT -5
Post by Chess on Jul 14, 2011 1:08:49 GMT -5
Even though he is a runt, you should stay within the guidelines of weight and height for the Keiyou. He would still be at the smaller end of the spectrum and he would be known to be a runt by those measurements.
While I do like his personality and it does go along with him being a runt I would like to see his history given a little more. While it does meet the word requirement I feel for character development it would be good to tell a little more maybe about his siblings and relationships with others in the past. (It's just a little vague) It has such a perfect beginning, I would like to know more, seeing as he is only two I know it can't be that detailed. This is just a suggestion, having met the requirements if you change his dimensions and make any other corrections post here again telling me they are done and I will accept him.
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Torment
Jul 16, 2011 17:23:04 GMT -5
Post by Torment on Jul 16, 2011 17:23:04 GMT -5
I made him a bit older, because as soon as I added Jaunt, I realized that there was way too much history for someone his age X3 I made him just a tiiiny bit smaller than the smallest dimensions for a Keiyou, 'cuz he really is little in my head (in comparison to other Keiyou, of course). Hopefully his history is better now. That's the story I had in my head, I just couldn't figure out how to put it into words...
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Torment
Jul 17, 2011 1:27:49 GMT -5
Post by Chess on Jul 17, 2011 1:27:49 GMT -5
I think you did great by extending his history! It matches his personality quite well and the size is fine. Accepted!
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