What the Heart Aches For (Kainashi)

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] Evelyn stumbled onto the beach, attempting to barrel herself through the sand fast enough to get away. Once part way down the beach, she tripped on her own feet and fell, tumbling head over heels until she came to a stop. She laid there, turning her crimson gaze to the sea and to the waning moon. Her fur was a neon purple, the black on her ears, tail tip, and paws still in place. It clearly showed her anger and sadness. The tears streamed pathetically down her face, flattening the fur on her cheeks, and her breathing was labored. She couldn't believe what she had seen and she desperately wanted to un-see it. She didn't want to think what she had seen was true, with Kainashi and with that other female. She did not want to believe that her close friend had done what she thought he had done. It was something she couldn't fathom, something she didn't want to fathom. "WHY!?" She screamed into the silence of the night, up to the Great Spirit. "Why..." She sobbed, digging her muzzle into the sand. Her pelt projected a soft blue, showing at that point she was much too sad to care about being angry. She had been hurt too much in her life, and seeing Kainashi with that loner female broke her heart, snapping that string. It was the only string she had left before she snapped and lost control of her power again. All that was needed was one more push, one more reminder of what he had done.

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] Kainashi ran, quick and fast. He wasn't sure where he was going, he wasn't paying attention. His heart ached for his beloved Evelyn, he wanted to explain, to love her and be with her forever. Tears plastered his muzzle as he ran, following her scent. Her scent he knew from the beginning in the poppy field. The path led him to a beach, and he scanned the horizon. He didn't see her at first. He looked down at his paws. I lost her, he thought. Then he saw paw prints in the golden sand. He followed them, and sprinted after his beloved once he saw her. He stood above her, watching her neon purple coat turn to a soft blue, his favorite color. He sniffed and took a deep breath, willing his tears to stop. His pelt projected a full-on jet black. He was ashamed, and he didn't even truly mean to do what he did. His pale pink eyes tried to meet her gaze. "Ev... I-" he murmured.

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] Evelyn's heart seized when she heard his voice, and her pelt immediate became a crimson color, the black remaining in its place. She could have easily been mistaken for Phoenix, had she not been a Lumen and as thin as she was. She pulled her nose out of the sand and glared at the empty space in front of her, not willing to look at him. She stopped crying. Her throat rumbled as a snarl tore itself from her mouth, baring her teeth. She stood up and whirled around, facing him angrily, but with tears in her eyes. Her fangs were bared at him angrily and it was plain as day that she was displeased. "Get away from me!" She exposed the fury in her voice at him, not wanting to be anywhere near him. Her fur was bristled, making her appear a lot bigger than she actually was. "Go back to your precious little girlfriend and stay away from me, you bastard!!!" Her own words hurt her more than she thought. She didn't want to think of him like that. She wanted to be with him forever, but what he did was not something she was willing to forgive so easily. Her heart fluttered against her ribcage like a trapped bird and her muscles wouldn't allow her to move, her feet rooted to the spot. She didn't understand. Her head ached so badly, and she didn't know what it was she needed to do. She was so utterly lost...

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] The darkness of the night tainted the color on Evelyn's pelt, but he could tell from the moonlight that she was furious with him. She was hurt, and he couldn't blame her. He couldn't justfully blame himself though, either. He did nothing wrong; well, he did, but it wasn't his fault. It was that female's fault. Kainashi looked up at the moon, their only source of light. He noticed this would be a very romantic night, had Evelyn not been pissed at him. He pulled his gaze back to his beloved and blinked as she snarled. He saw her lip pull back to reveal some sharp incisors. That broke his hold on his feelings. The tears started surging down his cheeks again, and stayed, even as she whirled to face him. He didn't step away as she told him to leave; he couldn't. He couldn't leave her like this. He could never leave her. She was too precious and significant in his life to let her go. "Ev," he pleaded. He stepped forward, willing to accept any vicious behavior from her as long as she would let him explain. "She isn't my girlfriend. I-" he cutoff, thinking his words over. He met her eyes as serious as he ever had before. "I thought she was you." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly, awaiting for her to strike him.

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] She tried to listen as he tried to explain, but her ears didn't want her to. She caught his words and the first ones calmed her rage a little bit, causing the red color on her pelt to simmer to a medium pink, and for a moment she caught hope that everything would be okay. That he would say he made a mistake and that nothing happened. That's what she so desperately wanted to hear, what she so desperately wanted to believe. However, that's not what came from his mouth. Her pelt flared, returning the bright crimson color, and her whole body began to glow, a furious light emanating off the tips of her hairs. Her ears flattened against her head and her tail lashed viciously. She narrowed her eyes. "You thought she was me?!" In all truth, as angered as she was, the words that left his mouth hurt her more than anything. It was painful to hear such things and she almost wanted to kill him for what he did, but she somehow felt like killing herself instead, to rid herself of the misery. "Am I really so insignificant to you that I just don't matter?! That...that you would mistake me for some...some...some random bitch!?" The tears had returned, streaking down her furry cheeks. She back away from him, feeling hurt and betrayed. As much as she treasured him, Evelyn wanted nothing to do with his traitorous ass. All she wanted to do was run and run and run until something killed her or until she couldn't run anymore.

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] Kainashi watched her carefully as her pelt slowly started to turn to a lighter red, almost a pale pink. But then it immediately retreated to it's warning glare. Uh-oh. He said the wrong thing. But how could he help it? It was the truth. Her body tensed back up, and her ears flattened. She was beyond furious now, it was as if Kainashi had finally pushed her over the edge. He swallowed hard, and only nodded as she yelled. He wanted so desperately to go back in time. If only that female hadn't did that. Did she even tell him her name? He didn't remember. It was all fuzzy. He would have felt better if she had struck him, rather for her to call herself that insignificant to him. She backed away, and he couldn't help but attempt to pull her back into place. "Ev. I thought she was you, only because she disguised herself as you. She fooled me, I only had anything to do with her because I thought she was you." He paused, letting that soak it to sooth her nerves. "I would never go behind your back. You're.. I love you, Evelyn. Truly. I wouldn't have done anything with her had I known it wasn't you." His eyes pleaded with her, and his ears flattened in frustration. He wanted to pull her to him, to love on her, to make it all right. To let her know he was here for her, and to wipe away her unwanted tears. He got a little closer to her and attempted to lick her muzzle. He wanted her trust, and wanted it to be as it was before; carefree, and in love. He knew what his feelings were now, it was so obvious but he was so oblivious. It was true, Kainashi was in love with Evelyn. He wanted so dearly to let her know his feelings, to know he wasn't lying. He sighed and stared into her eyes.

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] The light flared from her pelt even further, illuminating the space around them. The sand glowed a pale red from the light on her fur and the small crystals in the sand glittered and sparkled, but almost with an evil glint. She listened to him further, but it only angered her more. She wasn't sure where her anger was directed at that point. At him or at that loner, for supposedly looking like her and taking advantage of him. At that point, she wasn't sure what to believe. Evelyn froze when he spoke those words, those three sacred words not one wolf should ever dare abuse or use to one's advantage. He...loves me? The thought echoed in her head as the snarl vanished from her face, repeating itself over and over and over. She was speechless, her mind not processing it. It had been decades since someone last told her that. It had only been told to her once by her mother, when she was born. That was it, the last she had heard those three beloved words. Her pelt changed again, the light projecting from red to pale gray. She didn't understand, she didn't know why. She didn't know what there was to say, and her anger was overriding her thoughts, causing her words to come out wrong and twisted, the far opposite from what her heart wanted to say. It was all what her mind wanted to say, and she almost bit him when he licked her muzzle. All that came from her mouth were angry words and she couldn't stop them. "N-no..." She stuttered, crying again. "I d-don't believe y-you!" She'd had her heart broken one too many times in her long life, and love was a hard thing for her to come by, just as equality had been. However, equality had been easier for her to believe in than love, so it was difficult for her to believe Kainashi, not matter how much she wanted to, no matter how much her heart ached to love him just as much.

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] All of a sudden, the surroundings turned to a red glow. Evelyn was glowing. Kain's maw gaped open. He knew she was mad, but the glow only made her more beautiful. Then she froze when he told her those 3 words, the words you're only supposed to tell someone if you truly meant it. But Kain did mean it. Her pelt projected a gray color. He took that as a bad sign. He panicked. Did she love him back? Did he just screw up everything they had together? No. That female already did that. So many thoughts were raging through his mind, but he was only focused on one: Does she love me back? Kainashi felt numb; he just poured his heart out to the only female he loved, and she didn't believe him. He sucked in a deep breath and the tears started falling again. Look at us, he thought. We told you she'd hate you, the voices echoed. They always do. Kainashi shook his head violently, wanting for them to stay out of this. His love was in jeopardy, and he didn't appreciate their snooty commentary. Kain projected a dark blue, one that supported saddness, appropriate for a time like this. It wasn't his favorite right now, either. It was cursed. "Evelyn. You need to believe me. I would never lie to you. I love you. I know I do." He paused again. "I never knew it for certain, until now." He looked at the moon again for a split-second. "Don't you see? This is much bigger than that female. She means nothing to me. This is about you and me. I love you. Want me to scream it?"

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] Somehow, Evelyn almost smiled, surprised at the sudden confidence he had. He had really grown since entering the pack as a Sage. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was certainly there and she could see it clearly. What smile there was faded, and her expression became stoic again, though there were tears still streaming down her face. She didn't know what to believe, her eyes or her ears or her heart or...some other appendage on her pale body. Her heart told her he wasn't lying, but her eyes told her he was a cheating bastard that she should never trust again. Just as Kainashi heard voices, Evelyn had voices of her own: her subconscious warning her as to what could hurt her and what wouldn't. She wanted to believe him, and she did, she did so much. Evelyn lowered her head, staring in disdain at the ground, utterly confused as she listened further to him. It was obvious he was pouring every emotion in himself into attempting to get her to believe him, and it was working. Her heart sank and she felt awful for the things she had yelled, for the things she had called him. She bit her tongue, causing it to bleed as she painfully lifted her head up to meet his gaze. "Shonen...I believe you, I do...b-but...I don't know if I can trust you..." Her words were true, but she didn't know what else to say.

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] His expression lightened a little when she almost-smiled. It gave him a little hope that perhaps he hadn't been a complete failure. Maybe she did love him back. He flushed at the thought, but then her expression hardened again, as did his pelt. He watched as the tears continually stained her face, and finally felt the dampness on his own muzzle. He looked down at his paws, awaiting her answer. He could hardly stand the suspense. He saw Evelyn lower her crown. He wondered what she was thinking. He knew what he thought, how hard it was for him. But how difficult was this to her? He cringed at the thought. Ultimately, he would have never thought this would happen to him. He felt as if the roles were reversed, and he was playing the cheater. He slowly closed his eyes as he willed the thought away. He locked his gaze with hers, knowing what he wanted her to say. He wanted her to say she believed him, that she forgave him for his unforgivable crime, and that they could go on living as if it never happened. In his heart he knew things would never be the same again. They would be tainted, and it would take time to heal. Though he felt as if his time were ticking out, and if he didn't show her, let her see what he saw, that he would be gone. What she said wasn't what anyone ever wanted to hear. Evelyn can throw a punch, or close to it, without even touching you. Kainashi shuddered and let himself fall into the sand. He turned his gaze up to her. He wasn't sure what to say. This time it was his turn to be speechless, and projected black onto his pelt once again. He was ashamed, and didn't know what to say. He felt so evil, guilty, and unfit for her. His tears dissolved into the unforgiving sand as he looked on up to her. "I-I understand," he choked out weakly. He wanted to curl on into himself and die. To disappear forever. He let his beloved down. He took slow, and deep breaths, trying to stop his tears. They fought against him, and he found it disturbing. He wanted to get up, and cuddle Evelyn. To tell her this would never happen again, and to trust him, even if he didn't trust himself.

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] She saw the pain in his eyes, on his face as he fell to the sand. She saw his tears and, when he met her gaze, he claimed he understood. It broke her heart to see him in such a manner, downcast and so pathetically sad. It was easy to see he was horrified, as he must not have heard what he wanted to hear. Did he think it was that easy for her to just forgive him and say it never happened? What he did was not something she wanted to live with, but, for some reason, she seemed willing to. She saw all of the pain he was in, and how he seemed to feel like he had failed her. His fur became black again, showing the shame he obviously held, and she felt terrible. All she wanted to do in that moment was curl around him and tell him everything would be all right, but she couldn't bring herself to move from the spot she was standing in. The silence was unbearable, and utterly painful. It drifted between them, the only sound being the ocean washing up lightly onto the beach. Feeling pity, she decided to speak, "If I ever see or hear of her again, I can't promise that I won't go on a manhunt and kill her myself." These words were true. That loner had best not come across her path, or Evelyn would not be happy and have too great of an urge to kill the femme. She'd do it if it killed her or took every last drop of her energy to do so. It didn't matter to her. She didn't want her love life to be in jeopardy like this again, she didn't want to be so mad at Kainashi again. Never. Her words had come out harsh and angry, just as they should have. She was dead serious about that part, but he was right, this was not about that female, this whole situation was about the two of them. She had to deal with it, tell him the truth about everything. "I didn't get my powers for the first 100 years of my life because I was a punching bag for my pack. I was attacked when I did something wrong and when I didn't and whenever they needed an outlet. Even my own parents beat me. It was because of this that I didn't receive my powers. Then one day, I got sick of them and erupted, just as a volcano would." She remembered the day so clearly, as if it were only hours ago. "I had such a sudden outburst of power that I managed to make the mountain we were on completely invisible. I had severely injured and almost killed several of my old packmates. I managed to escape because I ran away from all of it and I was out cold in the forest for days." She paused, trying to collect her breath and stop herself from crying. "Every single day for a century, I was nearly beaten to death, then I decided to escape. That's what happened to be and, because of that, I didn't believe in equality or in love. They were impossible things to obtain and that was what I believed." Evelyn wondered if he followed her, what she was trying to say to him. "I didn't believe in equality until I came to the Alliance and met Stone. I didn't believe in love until...I met you." She took in a breath and released a shaky one, turning to look at the moon when her pelt turned bright pink. She hoped he understood what she was trying to say. As hard as it was to utter the words, she managed to do so, "I...I love you, too, Kainashi."

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] Kainashi felt pathetic, lying there in the sand sobbing like a Worthless child. He loved Evelyn, and he didn't love the other female; she had only complicated things. Kainashi stood up, wiping the tears from his maw as he did so. His mother wouldn't have been pleased to see him in such a state, she would have said that the Great Spirit would have gotten rid of him for displaying such an un-proud self. He took a deep breath and looked his Love in her crimson eyes. Her pelt pale coat turned black and he wondered why, but didn't ask. The silence was unbearable, he wanted her to break it. To say she loved him too. But then she did break it, starting off about her history, what he wanted to learn. He couldn't just keep it at face value, he showed his emotions about it earlier. His maw gaped open in consternation. He moved closer to her, and wrapped his tail around her body. He nudged her and licked at her tears. When she talked about the pack beating her, he couldn't hide his anger. His pelt projected a bright red, and he let out a growl. His lip pulled back, showing his fangs. He stood, and looked her in the eyes again. "-and where are they now?" he asked angrily. Kainashi was even surprised at himself. Since he entered the Alliance, his confidence had been growing. He wasn't as shy as he once had been, and would definitely go after her former pack, if she'd let him. His pelt faded to a light pink as she explained how she believed in equality and met Stone, whomever that was. He felt a little jealous, but didn't let it get to him. He took in her words carefully, but then she said something that took him off guard. "You... love me?" Her pelt turned to a brighter pink, and he smiled. She confirmed his question and he rushed to her. He nuzzled her lovingly and pulled back, collecting all his thoughts. He couldn't let this romantic night go to waste. "Look at the moon, Ev. How the moonlight shines on you. So beautiful. So priceless. We'd be fools to let it go to waste." He paused and turned his gaze to her. "I've been meaning to ask you this for a while," he mumbled a little shakily. His tail wagged restlessly, and he was excited. "Evelyn. Will you... be mine? My mate?" A smile danced on his maw, and the consternation left his tone. He knew he wanted to be with her forever and always, just as when he first met her. This is it, he thought happily. He was surprised at the voices' silence. Usually they'd be around to tune him down a bit, but maybe they only come out when they know he doesn't have the upper hand. He was glad they were being quiet though. He didn't want them to ruin their moment. This meant it all to him, and he was dead serious. Words. 507 Muse. When is there not muse for drama? Song. Lonely Lullaby by Owl City

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] Evelyn's heart was beating frantically, thrumming in monotone against her chest. She couldn't stop the bright pink from being projected on her pelt. Not only was she embarrassed, but there was another feeling there, one she felt for the male before her. She wasn't too surprised when he became angry at her story, so all she told him was that she didn't know where they were. She needed him to focus on the happier side of things and not go off and get himself killed. It would hurt her if he did. She nodded when her asked if she loved him, and even she knew it was true. She couldn't deny the bubbling in her stomach and the heating of her skin every time he was so close, just as he was now, barely inches from her. His tail was around her, so she sat, silently allowing him to love on her. He nuzzled and licked her ears. He was being intrusive, but it was an understandable reaction to hearing what he heard. She was glad he acted this way, it showed her he was being truthful in loving her, that the other female really did mean nothing to him. She was...glad. Evelyn nodded in agreement as to how nice the moon was, only finding herself flushing a brighter pink and beginning to glow at his words. She smiled, there he went...flattering her again. She was aware of his eyes on her and turned her head from the moon to him. She noticed the nervous expression on his face, but that his tail wagging against the sand clearly stated he was so excited. An unasked question floated in his eyes, something he had wanted to ask her for awhile, he said. She was curious, wondering what it was, and not having any clue. She was as dense as a rock when it came to love, so she wasn't sure what was to happen next or what he seemed so excitedly nervous about. She didn't understand, but all she knew was that she felt things for him she knew she'd never feel for another. Her crimson eyes widened in surprise when he asked her to be his, his mate. Evelyn blinked several times, not knowing what to do. Common instinct yelled at her to run away from the cheating bastard, but her heart was louder, telling her to accept his offer, and be his for the rest of their lives. The ground around them illuminated further as the moon hit her pelt and as she changed the sand to bright pink. All she could manage to stutter out was, "Of...c-course..." She was too stunned to say anything else, but she knew that she was ready to take this step. After all, she was 200 years old, it was about time she did something monumental like this.

[Kainashi]

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[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/xfqlmu.gif] She sat when he put his tail around her. She allowed him to show her how much he truly cared for her, and it meant they were slowly building back up their trust. "-and you're anything but insignificant to me, Ev," he said truthfully. He was a little nervous as he asked her to his mate, especially when she got a confused expression on her face. He held his breath, waiting, unaware he wasn't breathing. The area around them changed to pink, and he projected the pink even farther with his pelt. He let it mingle with her light waves, and smiled at her. This was useful to see her more, like a flashlight in the darkness. He let out a huge breath when she accepted his offer, and finally realized he hadn't been inhaling. He literally jumped to her, hoping to make her fall back. His tail continued to sway, and his smile never left his maw. He stared into her beautiful crimson eyes. "I love you, Ev. So, so, soooooo much." OOC// Sorry it's short. u.u

[Evelyn <3]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/3h8qw.gif] Evelyn smiled, letting out a small laugh as he knocked her onto her back and hovered over her, staring into her eyes. It was obvious he was happy about her answer, and she was too. She was glad she had seized this opportunity, for if she had listened to instinct both of them would be in a very bad place. She would feel awful about it later and was glad she had agreed to it now instead of saying no. It would have broken both of them. She lifted her muzzle and touched her cold nose with his. The moment was so perfect and serene, but the tension of love hung in the air. Her tongue emerged from her mouth and she began licking his face happily, listening to him tell her how much he loved her. She smiled at him, chuckling as she reached up to nuzzle his neck. "I know you do, Kainashi, I know you do." He had told her such quite often since the conversation began, and she began to understand it, the words completely stuck in her head. His voice was stuck in her head. Evelyn pulled back, resting her head on the sand again, looking right up at him. "And I love you so much more." She was teasing, of course, and she would do that to him as long as she could. A question of her subconscious was brought to her attention, something she wanted to ask him. Even though he had probably given that stranger the gift of motherhood, she wanted to know how he felt about having pups with her. "Shonen...how do you feel...about pups?" Her voice was quiet, gaze switched to the side.