what.now? [Sailoon//open]

[•rylee.mckay•]

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/2rmv48h.jpg] Ah, such a beautiful the day had been. The young female had been traveling for some time, strolling casually along the multiple terrains and finding shelter where it could be offered. Her body was tired and dragging itself. Many nights of hardly any sleep took a great toll on one's self. She slowed down to a stop and lifted her drooping head in a large yawn. "Ahh... I can't walk much further..." Her tired eyes gazed forward into the meadow she had stumbled upon a short while before. She couldn't help but feel a little heartache when she looked at it. There was light frost on the meadow's grasses, glistening in the light. It was almost like the meadow back in her past where she used to reside. Rylee shook her head and began walking forward again, her paws nearly dragging. Her eyes were glued to the ground and her head was hung low. Like her body, her mind was very tired, but still very much awake. This meadow stirred uneasy feelings inside her. She walked some ways before she spotted some shade under an overhanging tree. She walked towards it and felt the coolness brush against her fur. She lowered onto her haunches and looked at the ground. A little puddle was there, perhaps formed from melted frost from one of the other nights. She looked at her shallow reflection. Her amber eyes weren't as bright as they once were. Her maw was lowered in a rather emotionless expression as her eyes traveled downwards in the mirrow. She followed the shape of her body, every crease and indent. However, when she got to her chest, her gaze froze. The X-shaped scar on her chest was a permanent reminder of what the past was. She bit her lip and averted her eyes. "Awh, get ov'a it... It's in th' past..." She fought to keep her eyes dry as she lied down on the ground and set her head on her paws. She sighed inwardly and lowered her ears to her head. The overbaring feelings she usually kept under strict line were slowly surfacing. Loneliness quickly began to take over. "Heh... Look'it me... Lyin' here all sad 'n shit..." Her stomach growled loudly, portraying the small meal she had managed to find the day before was spent. She closed her eyes tightly and tucked her nose under her paw. "Look'it me... Lyin' here all alone 'n unable 't hunt." She opened her amber optics slightly to look back at the water. She stared at it for a few moments before she found her eyelids falling, desperate for sleep. "... What do I do now?"

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[sailoon]

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[atrb=background,http://i.imm.io/6BWC.png][scrolly:h(179),w(500),sy] There stood a female wolf with a large ribcage sticking out of her thin skinned sides, a narrow chest, lack of nutrition, lonely, and lost the love of her life for the second time. To lose a mate once is indescribable. To go out searching for them and get raped (luckily not getting pregnant) then returning to see them doing well is beyond words. For them to leave again without a good bye or anything is beyond comprehension. She did not try to understand it. Sailoon knew there was no understanding of it. The sad wolf sat there, looking at her paws, her body mass being small but struggling still under her unused muscles. She was in really bad shape. She hadn't seen a good day come in a really long time. Not since seeing Ti'ka again. But then good came to end and he left. No trace, nothing. Her body shook constantly and paranoia struck her at every opportunity of the day. What kind of life was this to live? Suddenly, a bit of the old Sailoon surfaced and her strength returned and she snarled and picked up a paw and swiped at the ground, leaving quite a gouge. Sailoon then saw how completely useless and had no point to it what so ever. Her weakness returned and the sudden outrage took a toll on her tired and hungry body. She had just enough strength to keep herself up in a sitting position. Suddenly, the edges of her eyes began to dampen and droplets formed at the corners of her eyes. One side of her mind said that she was weak and crying was no use. The other said that she was useless and stupid and did not belong anywhere or to anyone. And in the state she was at the moment, she felt both sides were completely right. What use was she to anyone in being such a way, emotionally and physically? Sailoon raised her head up and sang out that was nothing of a Ceal but more like a muffled howl and a painful scream. [/scrolly]

[•rylee.mckay•]

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/2rmv48h.jpg] In her dreams, she was in a meadow, much like the one she fell asleep in. However, the grasses were beautiful colors of gold and blue, wild flowers blooming in every direction around her. She stood in awe at the beauty. A gentle breeze lifted petals around her, twisting in the air like they were dancing. She watched it pleasantly, eyes glistening with a long forgotten playfulness. "So pretty..." She felt the urge to jump after one and did so. She leaped, snapping her jaws on the air as the petal burst into tiny sparks of light. She giggled and continued to jump after them. "Rylee..." The voice made her stop suddenly and twist her ears around to find it's source. Her eyes widened, listening intently. The voice sounded so familiar. She glanced around the blissful meadow, holding her breath. "Rylee..."

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Now that she heard the voice clearly behind her, her heart dropped. Everything seemed to hold still as she felt her fur slowly rising. The aching within her body was unbearable, knowing exactly who the voice belonged to. Her lip quivered as she hesitated to turn around. She could feel his gaze in her back and she held her breath, slowly turning around. As she did so, the background faded. Things turned gloomy and worn down. As soon as her eyes landed on his face, she felt a rush of memories. "Y... Yaz..." All the feelings... Love, compassion, shock, pain, agony... It all came so fast it robbed her of her breath. She stood there, frozen, staring right at him; though he wasn't looking at her, but the ground. After a short while of silence, she felt tears sliding down her cheeks and hitting the dead petals at her paws.

"Why, Yaz? Why..." Her body began to shake as she begged for an answer. Yaz's ears twitched before he finally lifted his eyes. His emerald optics met hers and everything changed. That look in her eyes... It wasn't love, or longing. It was something far sinister. She felt herself being torn apart and she screamed out for help, begging, praying someone would hear her. A shadow appeared around him before it leaped for her, englufing her.

The nightmare instantly woke her up. She leaped upwards with a yelp as her limbs shook violently. She looked in every direction hastily, forgetting where she was. Her chest heaved in and out as she panted hard, the fur across her whole body standing on their end. "It... It was just a... Dream!" Her eyes were wide as she gasped to regain her breath. Her adrenaline was running and she grumbled low. "Uhh... So much fer some.. Damn sleep..." She shook her head and tried calming down her body. It took her a little while before she was calmed down.

Rylee stood there, staring at the water, trying to asses her dream. "God damn it all..." She snarled and lifted a paw, striking violently at the water. As soon as her paw hit the water, a howl began to echo around her. She lifted her head and erected her ears towards it. She was startled because of her dream, but it was not the same sounding howl. The howl sounded rather sad and desperate, closely to a painful scream.

The Yagi female felt her heartstrings ache. She was feeling the same way that wolf had sounded. "M'be... We can help each other..." She knew she was thinking strangely for her, but she couldn't help it. She hated sounding others in the same pain she felt. Rising on her shaky paws, she began to saunter towards it.

It wasn't long before the wolf came into view. They were sitting there, howling their sad song. She was similar in health to Rylee, if not a little worse. She lowered her ears and continued to approach her, ignoring the ache in her paws and chest. "She.. Sounds like she's in pain..." Her eyes watched the female and stopped some feet away.

Hesitating a moment, she drew in a breath to calm herself. She had to perk herself up a little bit. No way she wanted to appear weak in front of a newcomer, and one that she was going to try and make feel better, despite what she felt inside. Who knew; maybe just talking to another wolf about something would make her feel better. She took another step towards her and stopped, holding her head lower than hers to show she came in peace.

"Darlin'... What ya doin' here out in yer lonesome with such 'uh sad voice?" She murmured softly, her accent in full tow, soft and gentle. Her eys searched the other females to show she was sypathetic and worried, despite never having seen the wolf in her life. "C'mon Ry... Brave face..." She forced the corners of her lips to rise slightly, trying to comfort her.
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[sailoon]

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[atrb=background,http://i.imm.io/6BWC.png][scrolly:h(179),w(500),sy] Sailoon slightly gasped for breath after the long, screeching howl that had irritated her thoat that yelped for a fresh drink of clean water. Her eyes searched for something to consentrate her sadness twoards. She felt so old, weak, and useless. There could not be a single feeling worse that the feeling of being of lower value than dirt. Hell, dirt would be rich compared to her. She could not even look at herself in the reflection of water. No one could bare to see themselves in being of such a state as hers. It was pittiful and sad, to look upon such a lowsom wolf. What was she living for? A soft voice came from beside her. The way the stranger spoke did not frighten her at all for she only felt warmth from it. Her head hung low as she looked twoard the she wolf. "I have no where to go..." Her voice scrached, it suprised her suddenly. There was no Ceal on earth that would have such a horrifying sound coming from their mouths. Another pain of heartach to add to the list. Sailoon cleared her throat to the best of her efforts and spoke again with little scrach. "I have no one to meet. I wander aimlessly while my mate for the second time is missing and this time I have a feeling that I will never see him again." Sailoon growled at herself inwardly. She would spare this wolf her sob story. There was nothing that could be done about her once love, Ti'ka. Speaking about him to one who never knew him didn't seem like it would help her withering heart one bit. She took a shaky breath and was met with cold air. " All I have is to wander, thinking about my sad life while my youth wastes away by the hardend sands of time. No... I do not see any other bitter reason to be anywhere but my grave." Sailoon clenched her jaws together tightly as the word 'grave' impacted her. It hurt. [/scrolly]

[•rylee.mckay•]

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/2rmv48h.jpg] Rylee stood still next to the female, amber eyes searching the female's face. She wanted to detect what was hurting her. Often, the Yagi was able to find the problems in wolves and help them feel better. It had always been an advantage for her. She did not seem startled at all towards her, which she was happy about. She didn't want to make her more upset. She listened as she started speaking. Her ears twitched to her voice, hearing the raspiness in it. There was something big on her mind. Ry lowered herself to sit beside the female, ears facing her as she continued to speak. As she had expected, the female spoke in a very negative manner. The word 'mate' hit her hard and she held her breath for a moment. The mere mention of the word could bring images back. She narrowed her eyes and concentrated more on the wolf's face. "C'mon now, Ry! It ain't 'bout you at th' moment." She nodded lightly to her and felt her heart skip a beat. She had a story much the same to hers, only on a different verse. They had both been through their share, and she was almost ready to admit they were at the same point. But there was no way she'd let the female go without her opinion. Taking in a deep breath, Rylee lowered her ears and opened her maw. Her voice was very soft at first. "I am sorry 'bout yer mate. I know how ya feel... I've had mah own experiences, and I well know the feelin' of pain. Somethin' happens that knocks ya down, and ya feel like ya can neva get back up again..." She paused as her eyes wandered to her paws. She was silent for a moment before her voice became a little louder. "But ya can't let it hold ya back. Be happy fer the world 'round ya, 'cause we're given the privlige of havin' a new day afta th' bad one's to start ova again." She lifted her eyes back up to her, smiling lightly. "I don't have a home as well. This," she lifted her head to show her neck, revealing the X shaped scar across her chest. "is mah reminda of the home I once had. I look at it every day and rememb'a all the things I used to have. 'N even though it sometimes hurts ta rememb'a, I try to remind mahself that it's in th' past." She lifted a paw and set it upon Sailoon's. "Let me tell ya, darlin'... I've been cheated 'n lied to in the past, 'n I know how it hurts 'n hard it is to get back up again. The road 'n life is long 'n dark, but yah have ta look for th' lil lights shinin' through. They're yer guide along the lonely road. When one of 'em goes out, anoth'a appears." She touched her nose lightly to her cheek as a form of comfort and fell silent for a moment. "'Lil ol' Rylee's neva had much 'ta live fer, but she always tries ta rememb'a the lil things." She purposely used her name so she wouldn't go through the trouble of asking for names. She thought for a moment, and decided to try and have a different approach. She looked at Sailoon with a genuine smile. "I c'n tell yer uh very special wolf. I'm sure ya have some great talents." She was hoping she'd get the wolf to realize her value in order to subdue her pain, get her to talk about the things she's good at. THat always seemed to cheer someone up the best.

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[sailoon]

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[atrb=background,http://i.imm.io/6BWC.png][scrolly:h(179),w(500),sy] Sailoon felt pathetic. She looked like a massacre and no one would even know or think she were a ceal, even if she told them she was. The skeleton sighed inwardly. "Thank you... you do speak truthfully. I didn't always look like this..." She looked down. "This ceal sounds anything but heavenly and I have allowed my body to eat at itself from past events. Yes past, but my past has shaped me into what I am... I am afraid I haven't let it shape me in the greatest way." She paused. "I am Sailoon..... I wish we could have met at better circumstance." She let a slight smiled crawl to her lips. It was painfully true that she had to meet someone in this stage of her life, looking like she did now. It was hard to believe it was the same girl just a year ago from now. The brat young wolf that really had no idea at all what sadness was. To think that the last person she met was Elegance Darkly who had become her friend when she was young. She wondered what the winged wolf would think of her, looking at Sailoon now. Maybe it would have been better if I never met Ti'ka, the handsome.. nice, wonderful male who had deserted her twice, even if the first time it had been because a dragon and taken him away. But if that had been true, how had he escape? Dragons wouldn't just come in and barge into wolf territories to take a single male wolf that was to be mates with Sailoon. She chuckled sadly in her head, what a fool she had been. Or at least she felt that way about this whole, dumb situation that had turned her into this muck of a ceal and wolf she was now. [/scrolly]