rasskal the unwanted

[elforgor]

General
Name:Rasskal
Alias:Thief!Smash him,and kill it.
species:Lumen
gender:male
pack:n/a
rank:loner
Age:6 years
Physical
height:2ft at the shoulder
Weight:65lb
Appearance:He is a medium to large wolf,and all legs.His fur is pure white with a indigo stripe running from nose to tail.The kinked angles of said fur give him a rakish appearance.Rasskal is a streamlined,limber wolf with high edurece and big lungs who's face's most prominent feature are his large red eyes,with a bluish hue uncommon among his kind(He can charm the birds out of the trees with them,talk about a easy meal!).His face is narrow,long,and has abnormally large fangs due to a inborn defect and is not a Lyxuss or related to a lyxuss in any way.his tail is long and thin with soft medium length fur for making turns at high speeds.His tail and eyes are very expressive,accenting his emotions to almost comic proportions.He carries himself with a gait carefully crafted to make him as unshakable as possible.This gait has been constructed through tedious observation.

Mental:strengths
High speed
high stamina
Good at thinking on his feet
Creative
Advanced camouflage ability's
weakness:
Highly distrustful
Has a major speech impediment
Somewhat blunt in mannerisms
Has a lean fragile frame unsuited to taking blows
wily and puts his survival above all others thus alienating them

personality:
He is wily and cunning,using speed and wit to dash out of sticky places.Every now and then he has explosive fits of rage followed by sadness due to his frustration at not being able to properly communicate.He has a commanding air about him,and is a competent leader when called upon,which is rare.He also has a fascination with shiny objects because of a golden cougar that saved his life.He wears his tough side as a sort of shield for his true self.If you can bypass his exterior,he is a gentle,kind,and loving wolf.In secret he is a talented singer,almost as good as a cael,and secretly yearns for the one thing he never had,love.He is also questing to find his place in the world.Despite his childhood,he takes romantic affairs very seriously,but this later.If you want to develop a relationship with this wolf,prepare to work hard.

History:As a pup,his mother was murdered for mating with a lupus,and his hybrid half brother was also killed,a spectacle he was forced to watch because they said he was impure.He was nursed by a mute yagi who couldn't protect him from his pack.After his mothers death,he was often beaten and forced to hunt dangerous prey such as unicorns and white stags,and bears for his pack's amusement.If they had know how strong,stealthy,and smart he had become due to this,they wouldn't have done it.After a year of being a punching bag,he ran away,using his powers to to sneak past the sentries.At that point he escaped to the forest,grew in speed and power,developed his fascination with shiny things and met a few packs,although his personality drove him out,or he left.Eventually he stopped looking for a pack,and accepted that he is a outcast.At that point he adopted the motto"To wander alone is better than to suffer together,"A philosophy he has stuck with ever since.As a loner he has tackled prey as diverse as jackalope to white stag.But he found it is best to avoid something with two animal halves.At this this time he realizes a pack could benefit him.

Other:he is very handsome,and could take advantage of if he ever looked in the puddle.



I will update this as he does more stuff












Finished?

[Somatra]

Hello Rasskal,
Welcome to Wonderwhy, we are very glad you decided to give us a try and I sincerely hope you will enjoy your time here! My name is Somatra and I will be in charge of reviewing your bio, pleasure is mine. Now before we can really begin I must first ask that you review the Profile Form (found here) then copy and paste it and fill in the blanks with your current information. This just helps staff to keep things easier to sort, therefore a quicker acceptance rate.

Secondly, could you please list your strengths and weaknesses in a bullet format for ease of reading and ensure that you have a minimum of five for each? They are looking great so far! Last but not least, the Profile Form indicates certain word count minimum for sections such as Appearance, Personality and History, just give what you already have a quick review and ensure that it meets the word count requirements. Alright, so once you have given a look at said requirements, please reply to this thread and I will gladly review your bio. Hopefully in no time we can have a thread together, if you would like.
Good luck!
--Somatra

[Somatra]

Alright, so I see you have organized the post, now you need to change your display name, the one that indicates Elforgor, to that of your character so it should read Rasskal. Secondly, your Appearance, though it is looking wonderful so far, is 106 words long and the Profile Form requires a minimum of 150 words to be accepted.

The same rules apply to your Personality, which is 111 words long, the word count minimum is 150 as well as well as your History, which is 101 words long but needs to be a minimum of 200. Your Weaknesses and Strengths look fine, thank you for organizing them. Ok, so let me know when you have added on to your bio to allow for proper character development and I shall look it over again.

--Somatra

[elforgor]

Well,thank you very much,As you said,I elongated the things you wanted,however,I can't think of any thing to add to the history.Do you have any suggestions?

[Artellia]

Hum, well perhaps discuss why he was forced to watch his brother killed? Or elaborate on how being used as a punching bag affected or shaped him into who he is today? You could also talk a bit about who raised him after his mother's death as well, given a lumen pup cannot live on it's own until 12 months and certainly could not survive living on its own until 2 to 3 years. Just a couple ideas, that's all.
--Som

[elforgor]

Did what you "said."

[Coneiron]

Excellent, this is moving along very well, keep at it as you are almost done! Ok, so from here you just need to run your text through spell checker (we have one on the site or you can also use Microsoft Word) as there are quite a few grammar and spelling errors, the checker should catch them for you. Also note that he cannot be raised by a puma as he must be cared for by a wolf, unless by Puma you mean the name of a wolf and not a species of wild cat in which case then it is my mistake. In addition, because he is a Lumen he cannot have royal blue eyes as the Wolf Species states that although lumen can change the color of their pelt, their eyes are usually pinkish or red tones.
--Som

[elforgor]

Did spell check and modifications

[Somatra]

Perfect, you are good to go then, get out there and have fun!
--Som