Return of the Goldfish (Closed)

[Ami]

[glow=red,2,300]The air was thick with humid, and the sun was high to shine hot rays of light through the canopy of marsh trees. In the swampy water, the top mostly covered in lilies and other vegetation, there was a light break; shiny golden scales shone in the depths. One may assume this to be an large goldfish, if goldfish could survive in a swamp habitat.

In truth, the creature was a Cael. A golden Cael, by the name of Ami. She was swimming up north, trying to return to an old and familiar setting. The wolfs' long journey had been winding and full of twists and turns, finally ending in a better understanding of herself. She was stronger than before, and better and walking upon the land like any other wolf.

But Ami was still bit of a coward, smart and quick, but a coward all the same. The golden Cael flowed through the water smoothly, single even strokes from her small fish tail.
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[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] "No need for reason, no need for rhyme. It's just as simple, really, to do without thinking. It makes the killing easier, you see." The ghost spoke to Hafalong in a quiet voice. He was hoping to curry some favor, no doubt. Trying to earn the level of trust that would convince the living wolf to allow him the temporary use of his body. "You only say things I already know." Hafalong flicked his eyes towards the specter. To any other wolf, it would seem as though he was speaking to himself, something that he had long since learned to deal with, "Tell me something... new." The ghost swirled irately, trying to think of something. Closer to Hafalong's side drifted Mortus, the only ghost who was allowed to Borrow the necromancer's body. He snickered as he watched the other ghost's frustration build, the skull half of his face locked in a gruesome grin. "I could tell you stories of the Great Spirits..." offered the ghost. Hafalong gave a short laugh. "Ha! And how is that useful to me? The Great Spirits have forsaken me... dropped me here with no sense of myself and left! I don't want to hear anything of them!" The ghost stammered, trying to come up with something else quickly, but was too slow. "Begone, spirit. with a flick of his ear, Hafalong dispelled the ghost, sending it back to the limbo that existed between the between the living and the silent dead. Pinning his ears to his head, Hafalong stalked through the swamp. He had no real source for his anger, and yet still it burned, hot and furious. I want to kill I want to shred I want to tear I want to take I want I want I want- his thoughts spun in a dizzy circle, stuck on the awful track of murder. His entire body screamed at him to kill something- anything!- and yet nothing crossed his path. It was as though the creatures of the swamp could feel his anger, and stayed clear. Sploosh! Yelping, Hafalong skittered back away from the edge of the murky water. The lilypads had tricked him into thinking that there was still solid ground ahead, and he had tumbled face first into the mucky mess. Shaking himself and snarling, Hafalong considered the path before him. It would be too much of a pain to try and find his way around... so he would have to swim across. He was about to slide back into the water when a glint of gold caught his eye. His anger forgotten, he leaned forward, curious. "A fish?" he asked to nobody in particular "Or... a fish wolf? Pretty sparkle-scales... would you answer me?"

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[Ami]

Under the cold water, Ami heard a voice. In a sense there was a ring of familiarity, but it was small and hopeless to find a face in Amis' memory. The golden Cael swam closer to the voice, wondering if perhaps they may point her to her destination.

"A fish? Or... a wolf fish?Pretty sparkle-scales... would you answer me?

She broke the surface of the water with her head, humidity hitting her like a wave, though did so slowly and cautiously. Gleaming silver eyes inspected the sight before her, the wolf appeared to be a Keiyou, though the intelligent part of her mind protested that that was not the case. She deemed him to be a hybrid of some sort, and kept a bit of distance. Ami calculated that if he attacked, then he would be slowed my the marsh as she made a quick get away.

Her yellow fish tail moved from side to side to keep her treading water, sending ripples to break the surface of the water. Her golden scales shone in contrast to her slick yellow fur.

Ami tilted her head. "Hello." Her voice was calm and had a melodious hint that most Caels possessed.

[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] Hafalong's eyes widened as he studied the other wolf. A grin broke his muzzle in two. "Ah! So a pretty-darling-fish wolf, then? How nice!" he spoke in a voice as sweet as honey, but in the depths of his mind he could see only the other wolf's eyes. Such a pretty silver... he didn't have a silver eye yet, that he knew of. Shrugging his shoulders, he felt the weight of the little leaf-bag near one of his wings. He would have to check later. For now he would have to work out how to best go about getting the Cael somewhere easier to attack from. "Such a pretty tail... like gold!" he wagged his tail, smiling warmly, "It reminds me of-" Of what? Of nothing. Of a wolf who never existed. "Tiatsu! Tiatsu!" I condemn that name to Hell. He doesn't exist. That beast, that demon from my mind. He does not exist! "-nothing. It doesn't remind me of anything. Perhaps the sun. Sparkling like gold, shiny, shiny..." he trailed off for a moment, mesmerized by the gold scales and silver eyes, then shook himself. "By myself, I am named Hafalong. Nobody else gave me that name. I am of myself, and of nobody else. What name are you called, be it by yourself or by another, I care not." His smile bespoke of warmth and safety, but still his mind swirled. Danger. Danger!

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[Ami]

A swarm of bugs flew over the swamp, their buzzing noise causing Ami to hide under the water. When she was sure they were far enough away the golden Cael resurfaced, shaking her head and looking back at the strange hybrid before her. The interesting black and white pattern of his coat and feathers were interesting, she stared at the for a moment before her silver eyes flicked back to Hafalongs'.

The she-wolf liked the way he spoke, she found it interesting, as well as the wolf in a whole. Her mind wandered on how many things she may learn from him, and her previous mental question was stored for another time. She could ask him for her destination later.

"It reminds me of- nothing. It doesn't remind me of anything. Perhaps the sun. Sparkling like gold, shiny, shiny..."

"I get that a lot." She responded with a swish of her tail and a crooked smile.

"Ami. Given to me after my early birth!" She said, trying to mimic his speech but failing. Her ears drew back in embarrassment. Her scales shimmered from the sun.

Her silver eyes trailed his fur coat. "Your fur pattern is interesting, a lot different from other wolves I have met. Like light and dark on opposing sides..." Perhaps she could be poetic? Oh well, it didn't matter. She wished to learn more of this, Hafalong.

[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] "Ami... Ami... Ami..." Hafalong tested the name on his tongue. It sounded sweet and pretty. A name that he would love to sing all day. Every time I look at that eye, I'll sing that name. he promised himself. "The pretty fish-wolf Ami, named by another, rather than herself... I like it!" for a moment, his smile reached his eyes, and danced, sparkling, in his mind, before sinking away, returning his thoughts to their grim path while his face still radiated peace and calm, "Such a pretty name... again, I remember but forget. What am I forgetting to remember? I don't know. Nevermind." he shook himself again, sneezing as a bug attempted to crawl up his nose. "Your fur pattern is interesting, a lot different from other wolves I have met. Like light and dark on opposing sides..." This sentence caused Hafalong to laugh. "Dark and light? Pretty Ami, you know not what you speak of! So close, so far. Am I dark and light now? Am I dark or light? I don't know myself, Pretty Ami. Even I know not." he bobbed his head and shuffled his paws, "I seem to have forgotten myself in trying to remember another. Another... another... but he never existed. He's but a name who tries to speak. A ghost, like those that surround me now!" he extended a wing to gesture to the ghosts that only he could see, "A ghost who tries to wear my face. Looks just like me. Speaks in my voice, but is not me. Is not Hafalong. His name... his name... he has no name." another shake, another shuffle of the paws. "Beg pardon, Pretty Ami. I speak in riddles. My surname isn't Rambling for naught, you know. I even confuse myself sometimes. But never mind, never mind. What brings you to this area, Pretty Ami? Not because it's my business to know, but out of idle curiosity."

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[Ami]

She has met ramblers such as Hafalong in her travels. She found them interesting and loved to hear them speak their nonsense, sometimes it helped her open her mind a little wider.

The golden Cael seemed embarrassed by his comment, 'Pretty Ami.' At least she hadn't called her a goldfish. "I must admit, no wolf has called me Pretty Ami, they usually call me 'Goldfish'." She laughed a little, a melodious sound.

"Dark and light? Pretty Ami, you know not what you speak of! So close, so far. Am I dark and light now? Am I dark or light? I don't know myself, Pretty Ami. Even I know not. I seem to have forgotten myself in trying to remember another. Another... another... but he never existed. He's but a name who tries to speak. A ghost, like those that surround me now!"

Her ears stood erect as she absorbed his words. The wolf fish truly did love rambling. Though she felt sad to hear of his inner struggle. The comment of a ghost hadn't thrown her off, she has heard tales and stories of wolves who carry ghosts with them.

"Beg pardon, Pretty Ami. I speak in riddles. My surname isn't Rambling for naught, you know. I even confuse myself sometimes. But never mind, never mind. What brings you to this area, Pretty Ami? Not because it's my business to know, but out of idle curiosity."

"I have met wolves who ramble on and on, I quite enjoy their monologues and soliloquies." She smiles, pearly white canines showing as her silver eyes seemed to sparkle along with her golden scales. "Curiosity." She smiled sweetly. "Many a wolf has described me as a curious soul." She seemed to ponder for a moment. "It has been a long time, I used to live in this area. But I am nomadic, so I left upstream," She giggled at her joke, "To discover and learn. I am returning from my journey now, actually."

Splosh!

Her golden tail slapped the water. "May I inquiry, what brings you here to the marsh?"

[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] "Goldfish?" Hafalong nodded in acknowledgement of the other things that Ami spoke of, but his mind was stuck on what she had said about being called a "Goldfish." "Discovery and learning... both are good things to pursue. Better than those wolves whose lives are spent in constant search of death and murder." a smirk slipped across his features, but was quickly replaced by his usual grin, "But, Pretty Ami, if I might turn the conversation back a bit... you say you've been called 'Goldfish' before. By whom, and when?" "It's a golden fish! A goldfish!" Yapping and yapping and yapping, but not his voice. He was never a pup. He was placed in the world as Hafalong. Himself. Grown, strong, always on the hunt. No mother, no father, no childhood to speak of, and yet still the voice of a pup sounded, and it sounded like himself. "We could go explore! Exploring is fun! I do it all the time!" But that voice was not his own. That voice did not belong to him, did not belong to Hafalong. It belonged to Tiatsu-who-did-not-exist. It was another voice that didn't have a body, another ghost. "Pretty Ami, you speak and I remember, but what do I remember? He who never existed? That cannot be! He never had substance. He was but a voice, but still I remember his puphood. I remember his yapping call. He wanted to explore... but I know him not. He seems to know you, though. We who have never met, strangers, and yet the voice of he-who-is-not remembers. Remembers what cannot be." he covered his eyes with his paws, "Do you remember? No, you don't. You can't remember, because it never happened. That pup never was, although I remember it. He never was. That pup. That wolf. He ever is what never was." When he looked back up, his eyes were clear. A thin ray of sanity pierced his clouded mind. A plea for help bubbled in his throat, but did not escape. The little ray of light was extinguished, and the smile returned. "I'm sorry, so sorry. My mind... it goes somewhere else sometimes. I wish I knew why... but no use wondering. It takes up precious time. You asked, if I remember, why I'm in the marsh? No real reason. I get... tired. Of wolves. I leave my pack, to go wander, just for a little bit. It's not too far from here, anyhow." he nodded vaguely towards the jungle, "Just that a-ways. They're the only ones who'd take me."

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[Ami]

She backed up a little, surprised that Hafalong would mention a pup, since it was a pup who had first called her a goldfish. A ring of familiarity sounded in her ears as Hafalongs' voice carried on in words that she could no longer truly hear. It was as if her mind was desperately trying to tell her something.

And all the sudden his eyes were clear, clear then before, they seemed to look at her with such sadness, a plea calling out to her.

Splash!

Her tail came down hard on the murky water, crushing a lily flower. She turned her head away from Hafalong, who's eyes had seemed to return to normal. She suddenly had a strong sense of dread. Disregarding his words, the she-wolf suddenly spoke up.

"He was a pup, the one who called me a goldfish..." She closed her silver eyes, trying to remember the pups' name. "Tai... Tai... Taitsu, yes. Taitsu." She re-opened her eyes, looking at Hafalong, almost expectantly.

[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] That name, that name! That awful, tormenting name! It followed him everywhere! It tugged at his mind and taunted him from the darkest recesses of his person! But he had felt safe in believing it was no more than a mere trick of his mind, no more than a minor bit of insanity. Just himself. But now, from the mouth of the Goldfish. That name. He-who-never-existed. It could not be. It could not be! "Pretty Ami, speak again, but do not say that name!" Hafalong howled,"That name! He never existed! Tell me these words, sweet and lovely, pretty Ami, and tell me there was no such pup!" tongue lolling between sharp teeth, eyes wide and wild, roving about the swamp, breath labored. All on the edge, the very edge. Insanity, murder, death, and a name. The name of a wolf who had never existed. "Do not speak his name, pretty Ami. Most hated. Tiatsu. He exists in my head, but no where else. You do not know him. You do not know him! You cannot know him because he did not exist! He did not! He did not! He-" "Mama?" The little voice called out. Cold snow. So cold, so cold! Where's Mama? Where's Apollo? All alone, all alone, all alone! Faces. Yagi's, Sennyos. Bezdomny, Kelev. Hafalong. Hafalong! That's what he was called! Hafalong! "Why do you always call me that?" Complaining. His voice, but not his. Tiatsu's. Tiatsu's voice. Why was he being called Hafalong? His name wasn't Hafalong. Only one eye. Gapping eye, howling, crying, his brother, crying. Why?! Why would you do that?! Why did you kill Mama?! You bastard. You bastard!!! Ripping and tearing and- Voices! So many voices! Moaning, crying, howling, wailing voices! And... and Mama! Mama was alive, but not alive. Dead, dead a ghost. So many ghosts. Where are Bezdomny and Apollo? Where? Alone... alone... alone... Hafalong became aware of his voice, hoarse and rasping. His throat hurt. His voice choked out. "These memories are not real, pretty Ami, though they are in my head. The rock... it looked like a frog. And you, in the water. Chance, yes, that was his name. Both of you, there. And the pup-who-called-himself-Tiatsu-who-never-was. He was so happy... so happy... remembering Keit. Keit-who-took-care-of-him-and-was-his-friend. But none of it happened. I remember, but I remember impossibilities." Hafalong looked at Ami with pleading eyes. "Tell me, pretty Ami, that this is all a dream. I don't want it to be real. I am Hafalong-of-myself-and-no-other. Tell me not that my name is Tiatsu, though we have the same face he did not exist. Tell me not that I am not myself. Let me be Hafalong." A grin broke his muzzle, and he lifted his wings, enlarging himself. Only the water stood between him and his prize. Wrong and right grappled in his mind, with memories that did not belong to him. "Such lovely eyes, pretty Ami. You have such pretty eyes. Tell me his name again, he who did not exist. Tell me his name and sing to me that he never was. Never was, pretty Ami. He does not exist. For you to know him, you must not exist too. Such pretty eyes, though. I've never seen their like before..." Teetering, tottering, and into the abyss he fell. Insanity, sweet and addicting, coating his tongue with the taste of blood. He would taste that blood soon, if he was careful. "Speak again, pretty Ami. Speak again!"

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[Ami]

The Cael looked at Hafalong- ,or was it Taitsu, in shock. Her silver eyes locked with his blue ones. For a moment she wondered if this rambler was breaking, if his insanity was reaching to him and trying to pull her down.

And perhaps it had been all along, perhaps he meant no kindness in his grins or his compliments. A bug buzzed by her ears and she flattened them. Ami swam back a little, golden scales shimmering in the light of the bog.

But for some reason the light began to fade as the marsh grew darker. The golden fish-wolf felt dread overwhelming her as she kept her silver eyes trained on the embodiment of ying and yang.

"Speak again, pretty Ami. Speak again!

The Ramblers' voice sounded on the verge of hysterics, and at the same time it was pleading her.

As a skill for survival, Ami began to sing.

"A single little pup was
howling at the moon and
never really spoke 'till
time took him away."

It was a strange an haunting song. She sung in a low pitch on the first sentence and then higher on the second, repeating the process as she began to back up through the murky water.

"Perhaps he had existed
if you can believe in
something that
never really was."

[Hafalong Rambling]

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[atrb=background,http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a190/lilDiablo_/hafmid2.png] Hafalong's eyes half closed, and he swayed back and forth, allowing the music to wash over him. "Never was... never was... he never was... I don't believe in him... and yet I do... he was swept away, Pretty Ami. Just as you sing... he was taken away... Darkness... blackness..." Hafalong's eyes closed all the way, and when he opened them again, they were clear, "Dark... always dark... and when I wake up, there's blood. Blood everywhere." his voice took on a pleading note, "Ami... Pretty Ami... Goldfish... silver eyes... such pretty eyes... where does my mind go when I'm not there? I'm Tiatsu... but I'm also Hafalong... but... no... wait..." his eyes clouded again, and he continued to sway. "Pretty Ami... does he exist? Did he really speak to you? Did that pup really live? Did he grow, and have friends? Did he ever find love?" he shook his head, "Never love, never loved. He did not love. Now he never can, never will. His mind... cannot love... except... your eyes. Such pretty eyes... I'd like to have one. Too keep. For myself. To remind myself... of... someone... someone who is without being..." "I don't understand... how does it work... how does my mind spin, two different wolves, who both claim dominance. One is black, one is white... but which is me? Am I one, or the other, or both?" he shook himself vigorously, "Riddles... so many riddles... riddles with no answers... riddles that are not questions... what are they, then?"

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