Aedan

[Aedan]

OOC Information JeanRich
OOC Name: N/A
Link to Previous Character: N/A - First Character

General
Name: Aedan
Alias: Ae
Species: Eremus
Gender: Male
Age: Two Years (2 yrs)
Pack: Loner
Rank: N/A

Physical
Height: 36" (36 inches)
Weight: 55 lbs (55 pounds)
Appearance: Aedan is a rather tall and slightly fat Ermus. He has a beautiful undercoat color of a sandy page and orange with a grey and coal colored overcoat that goes from the middle of his back to the end of his rather fluffy tail. He ears or a burnt orange color with a burnt black color around the tips. His hooves have a dusty, sandy, dirt-covered looked that goes up into the ankles of his legs and leaving an over all dusty-dirty look about his body. He has a voice to match his look, a scratchy dry voice with a western/Irish accent that's slightly deep, sounding almost like a cowboy or an old Irish drunk.
When he moves, he looks like he's stiff. Being careful not to go too face to not trip over anything. When he does move face though, he almost seems to gallop like a horse, lifting his legs high into the air, jumping and leaping from point A to point B. When coming up on a prey, he creeps as low to the ground as he can. His shoulders going up as his head goes down. Taking quick precise steps. His tail staying straight out like he doesn't know what to do with it. Then he bounces up into the air, his front legs pulled in close to his chest, his snout pointed straight up into the air, his back almost perfectly straight down to the tip of his tail and his hind legs pushed off the ground with his ears folded back.
Other: N/A

Mental
Strengths:
1. Problem Solving - Good at solving complex problems
2. Survival Instincts - Must I say more?
3. Hearing - Can hear rather well, even for an Eremus
4. Good Judgement - Good at judging people
5. Creative Solving - Comes up with creative ways to solve situations
Weaknesses:
1. Bad Decision Making - Not so good at making large decisions
2. Speaking - Mix's his words up with nervous
3. Biting Habit - Chews on his front right hove when nervous
4. Clumsy - Very clumsy when he's not focused
5. Cursing - Curses a little bit more than he should especially around pups
Personality: Aedan is a bit of a clumsy, charming wonder. He's a bit childish for his age. Almost always playing around and cracking jokes in his western/Irish accent. He's rather curious, always asking questions about one thing or the next. When he's not playing around and joking though, he's rather grouchy and get's angry and frustrated a lot. Though Aedan speaks what he thinks, and literally thinks out loud, he has a quite organized mind though it seems cluttered. Sometimes, he doesn't even speak in full sentences, just burst of little thoughts that come to mind until he comes up with a full thought. He does act kind towards all, but once someone annoys him once, they annoy him by just breathing, but he doesn't try to do anything towards them at all. He just lets bigots be bigots and goes with the flow. His flow. His scattered brain look of the flow of life.
History: Aedan was born into a two pup litter. Him and his brother. Aedan was the second and last born. Sadly, the pack Aedan was born into only consisted of two small family's. Aedan, his brother, his mother, his father and another family with a mother, father, son, and daughter. Though Aedan was the last born, he was the one to survive, his brother being killed on a hunting trip. As Aedan grew, he got into more and more trouble, getting himself, his mother, and his father thrown from the pack. Eventually, Aedan's father was killed while hunting to them. Aedan was then entrusted to hunt for the meal of the day. While out on the hunt, Aedan's mother died. She wasn't killed, she just died. Aedan then went out in search of a pack of his own. Being alone for too long is when he started thinking to himself out loud. Voicing his thoughts in a raspy, dry, old, Irish-western voice. Speaking some in English and some in the Irish langue of his father. Keeping himself in hidden areas at night and open ares in day looking for other creatures he may befriend and talk to.
Other: N/A

(dismiss the paws-he has hooves not paws I just couldn't find a good enough picture)

[crow]

Looks pretty spot on, first off lets look at a few errors that need fixing. Sorry if I miss anything, I'm kinda new to all of this stuff C:

Just a few word tense changing for this first sentence.

His ears are a burnt orange color with a burnt black color around the tips.

This sentence could probably be re-written near the end, it is a bit confusing to understand when you say.. up into his ankles?

-- look that go up into the ankles of his legs and leaving an over all dusty-dirty look about his body.

you meant fast here, right? The first sentence is also a fragment so fix that up C:

Being careful not to go too fast to not trip over anything. When he does move fast though, he --

The "a" is not needed here.

When coming up to a prey, he creeps as low to the ground as he can.

These two sentences can be tweaked to fit together better with a comma or semi-colon, feel free to join them however.

As his shoulders going up as his head goes down. Taking quick precise steps.

Again, there are mostly just a few added in words that aren't needed or few grammatical errors. Everything looks spelled right. Just look through and make the necessary changes.

Also, you are a few words (literally only about four words) off of the 200 minimum for the history. If you could just add maybe one sentence or elaborate on one you already have written, then you will be fine.

Your image is a bit too big, please resize it or use a smaller one.

If I see anything else needing to be changed around, I will post here again to let you know. Just post here after you've looked over the bio again and think you have it fixed C: