Tears of Anguish, Tears of Joy (Whelping)

[Keely]

Deep within the belly of the pack lands, away from the dangers of the surface, the underground dens whispered. The largest of the shallow caves was the chosen den of Fyodor and Keely. Heavy panting soon began to travel laboriously through the caverns. Curled up in a bloated ball, Keely quivered as the pains of labor began to wrack her tiny body.

She had been in the dens for the past few days, she had been too heavily pregnant to venture into the territory. She could barely walk with out becoming exhausted from the effort. She had been happy and content to stay underground, it was what was best for her pups. She wanted them to be safe, happy and warm.

She was alone. It had bothered her a little, considering she loved being around others. However she knew that someone was coming to visit with her soon enough. There was always some one coming to see her. She had remained optimistic. Until the pain had begun....

The sunshine lyxxus stared with glimmering, dilated eyes into the partial darkness of the den. She whimpered, "Fyodor? Where are you?" She was terrified, she was in pain, the pups were coming and she did not know what to do. She uncoiled her body, attempting to make it longer,give the pups more room to move, maybe that would help. She flinched as she felt movement in her swollen belly. The pups were being pushed to the canal.

Keely panted heavily, it seemed like this had been going on for days....it had not even been an hour yet. Fyodor had left to get her food, her brothers were no where to be found. Surely they would come soon. The rest of the pack should be near. Where was everyone? She did not want to go through all this pain alone. She wanted her friends, her family....her pack.

A powerful contraction cause her to yelp in pain, the sharp noise echoed through the cavern. Soon tears were rolling down her small face. "Bo...why are you hurting mommy? I just want to love you....." Why was she suffering for the love she wanted to give to her pups? Why was it so hard? She whimpered in the darkness.

Keely could not even smile at the thought of her pups coming into the world. She felt nothing but anguish, her joy was strained. She wanted to be a mother so badly....that it hurt. Another powerful wave made her shutter and cry out, "Help! Please, it hurts." She did not want to be alone, she wanted the comfort and warmth of her family. To here Fyodor coo in her ear, tell her everything was going to be alright.

It had to be....right?

[Fyodor]

Fyodor had followed the scent of a vole’s nest. However, tracking down a small nest of small creatures wasn’t exactly his strong suit. If he had four sound legs, he might have been an accomplished hunter, but as it stood, he needed to get at least something to bring to her. He looked around. Nothing but switchgrass. The male Lyxxus slumped his shoulders and lowered his head as he gave a massive sigh. The poor wolf would have to figure something out. But for now, he couldn’t leave Keely for more than an hour. She was too close to her whelping for him to be gone for longer. He glanced to the sky, to see where the sun was. He didn’t know how long Keely had to suffer through her contractions without him, but he was heading back now.

The wolf couldn’t move very quickly. He had a small, puppy-sized left hind leg. No one was looking and the long switchgrass was a good enough cover. He didn’t bother hiding it. Half the reason was because he wanted to maybe straighten out the tail he usually used to hide his leg before it got too crooked.

He took upwards to ten minutes to make it to the nearest entrance of the sprawling underground caverns. He tenderly hopped down them and immediately, heard Keely. She gave such a hair-raising cry. It was one of pure pain. “Help! Please, it hurts.” Her anguish was almost visible because of how much it overtook her. Fyodor rushed to his mate. He hobbled in awkward gait, but made it.

There she was. Her round form convulsed with the desire the pups had to come out. It was their time, not hers. And he felt like it wasn’t fair. What if she dies? Fyodor didn’t allow himself to whimper. He didn’t dare to. Keely didn’t need a sniveling fool right now. He had to be there for her.

The male came close to her, despite being so scared. He stood solidly on three legs, his fourth facing away from his dear mate so that he would seem an image of strength. His five tails lashed in brazen confidence. “You’re doing great Keely,” he sang quietly. “Please, my love, please, keep going.” He held the last note. It held a crystal tone that could be heard through her cries. He snuffled into her fur to hide his tears. Please…

[Tobias]

Tobias had been out hunting when a strange feeling had come over him. The freshly killed jackalope sat at his feet. It was the third one he had gone after, but he finally found the rhythm and made his kill. At the time he had been famished and was looking forward to a well earned meal. Now there was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong. There was a feeling almost like static electricity in his brain. Keely. He didn’t understand the feeling and he didn’t question it. All he knew was that he needed to get to her now. He picked up his small meal and off he went.

He was still unfamiliar with the area and it took him a while to back track to one of the entrances to the underground caverns he had been shown. Just inside the entrance he stopped. He could hear Keely’s pained cries and hint of song that he assumed was Fyodor. And suddenly he didn’t know what to do. He was afraid for Keely, afraid for her pups. And he knew that there was absolutely nothing he could do for any of them. He would die to take away some of Keely’s pain, but that was not how things worked. Keely wanted to be a mother and had made her choice. He couldn’t protect her from this. No one could. Thank the stars she wasn’t alone. He hesitated again, wondering if it was even his place to be here. Would Fyodor want him there? Would Keely rather be with her mate? And if things were to go badly, could he forgive himself for not being there?

He knew his decision was selfish, but he didn’t care. Keely was precious to him, she was family, and he needed to be there. He only hoped that she needed him a little as well. He continued on carefully, making sure not to get lost in the sprawling cavern. He had to fight his instincts to not run blindly to get to the place where his sister was crying. It was so unnatural to hear her crying. He laid the jackalope down just outside of the cave that was Keely and Fyodor’s den. He could see them together inside. Again he found himself hesitating to disturb them. “Keely,” he softly whispered, but he could think of nothing to say and let his voice be lost among her cries.

[Keely]

Keely felt movement within her again, the pups were lined, ready to struggle out. She hoped that they did not have to fight to get out, they were only pups. Her ears twitched as she heard Fyodor enter then den. She looked up at him with such a pleading expression, "Don't leave..." She wanted to scoot closer to him, but she was immobilize with the labor. His voice brought her comfort, she could do this. She had to do this, for Fyodor, for her. He made her feel like everything was alright. Even though it was just beginning.

There was a splash as amniotic fluid rushed from her womb, the warm, sticky scent seemed to overtake everything. She felt one of the pups squeezing through her, it was such a strange feeling, that cave her more pain. So whimpered as she tried to push them out. It was a slow process.

Fyodor's warmth caused her to nuzzle into him, as if holding him for support, trying to distract herself. She pushed with a great effort, grunting with the strain. It was not pretty, it was not fun. But she wanted it, even though it hurt so badly. She was losing her energy fast, the complications were a drain on her stamina.

The first pup was stuck, the contractions were not strong enough yet to push him through. He was trapped in the birth canal. Keely quivered and gave one magnificent push to help to move him along. Inch by inch he neared the exit, about to get a shocking surprise.

"Fyodor.....Bo's coming....." Her words were punctuated by gasps of pain. She was almost there....the first one was so close. She did not hear Tobias arrive. Her panting was too much to hear whispers. Her yelps and whines draining out all but Fyodor. Just a little more.....she strained and cried a little more.

The head of the pup came out first, it took another few pushes before he slipped to the den floor. Keely lifted her head, trying to see it. She saw the little yellow puff ball. He wriggled blindly, whimpering in the cold dark. Keely struggled to sit up. The power of maternal instinct gave her strength enough to get the first on at least. She reached over and grabbed him firmly. She brought him to her belly and began cleaning him. He latched onto a teat, ignoring his mother's bath.

Keely looked up at Fyodor with an exhausted expression. Most the pains had subsided for the time being. She had at least a few minutes before the contractions could take over again and rend her to the ground in agony.

[Fyodor]

“I’m nn-n-not leaving.” He said this as an absolute. Mentally, he was almost baffled that his mate could think of such a thing. Fyodor kissed her over and over. His pink tongue lapped over her warm coat and with smiling eyes he just felt an overwhelming pride come over him through her pain. It wasn’t that he wasn’t worried because he was. It was just that he was so filled with hope that he couldn’t see anything except her succeeding. When Tobias entered, Fyodor raised his head for a split second. Soft eyes indicated that it was alright for the brother to stay. If something when wrong, there was no way he could go and get help due to his crippled leg.

Her tiny body heaved and labored and the pup inched out. He still maintained a hopeful watch over his mate. “He’s b-beautiful,” was what Fyodor said in simple words. And he smiled and kissed his mate for a job well done. Fyodor nuzzled her. And looked to Tobias, “Come and see him!”

Fyodor thought she was done simply because she was stopped with the pains. But, really, her body was taking a break it seemed. Just a break when it would all start over…

[Tobias]

Tobias was relieved by Fyodor’s silent approval for him to remain. He silently cheered Keely on, his ears nearly flat against his head as he listened to her cries. He pawed the ground anxiously. He was unsure of how long Keely would have to endure this and unsure of what point his general concern should turn to fear. He hoped that this first litter would be the hardest, and that, if Keely and Fyodor did decide they wanted more pups, they would all know what to expect at subsequent births. At least then they would have a point of reference for what was going on.

Finally, his nephew came into the world. He was so proud of Keely for seeing it through. She had been very brave. At Fyodor’s invitation he drew closer, his tails wagging happily. “You did wonderful, Keely,” he said giving her a light nuzzle. There was something about seeing Keely with her newborn pup that was perfect. Motherhood really did suit her. Not even her own exhaustion could dim the love she felt for her newborn. And the pup, for what little he had seen of the yellow fuzz ball, seemed healthy. He was moving and eating and whimpering. These were all good signs. “He really is beautiful,” he said to the proud parents. “Congratulations.”

Tobias too suspected that that was the end of it. Keely was small, so certainly a single pup would not be unusual for her. So for a moment he allowed his mind to wander, thinking about the possibility of himself becoming a proud father one day. For at the moment he could imagine nothing better.

[Keely]

She panted happily, her tear soaked face beaming at the praise from her mate. His warm tongue seemed to melt away her pain. That and the endorphins kicking in from the birth itself. She looked at her son, then became aware that Tobias was in the room. Her tails wagged limply as he came in. She was too tired to speak, and soon her smiles fadded as she felt the contractions begin again.

She whimpered and settled on her side, her eyes peering up at Fyodor. Her body was assaulted by pain and torment once more. She silently cried as she pushed and struggled to start the next pup on it's journey to life outside the womb. Her breathing became very labored, even though the breathes were shallow. She squeezed her eyes shut as the puppy made it's way through the narrow canal.

It did not take as long as the first one, but her tired muscles were screaming in pain. It was overwhelming, it she felt herself slipping into darkness, the walls were closing in. She fought to stay conscious, wanting to know at least that her puppy made it out. In her mind, she knew this was the only other puppy in the litter, she felt no more squirming within her. Only the pressure as she forced herself to give birth.

There was more blood and fluid. Soon though another small head hit the cold air. Keely pushed with all her might, straining herself over the limit. She wanted it to be over, the pain would stop if she slept, right? As soon as the puppy alighted onto the floor in a squirming, whining mass, she knew it was over. The pain would stop and she could be a mother. She tired to lift her head to grab the puppy like the first one, but all her energy was gone.

She whimpered softly, but a ghost of a mile crossed her maw. "Fy...o.dor" she whispered. She wanted to ask him to clean off the puppy, to press it to her belly with it's brother. But she could only manage his name before sleep over took her. Her eyes closed and her whole body slowly relaxed. Her breathing leveled and soon she was resting fitfully, but still resting. She would need a while to recover. But for now, she trusted her family would help.....

[Fyodor]

Pain. That was the entirety of his mate. She was nothing but her pain and it worried Fyodor. He paced to and from and threw his turquoise gaze upon her, nothing but concern in his eyes. Her tiny body was in full agony, he could tell. Her fur felt sticky when he nuzzled against her. It was wet with birth and labor.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…

His heart didn’t beat, it fluttered in his chest. His mate could be dying all over again. He almost cried out, but realized that that wouldn’t help anyone. He paced again.

Please , please, please…

And the pup’s face came out. Head first. It was a good sign. Fyodor smiled and waited as the darker pup was born. She came out and Fyodor waited patiently for his mate to reanimate and become her old self. The storm was passed, she had to recover. And then, much to his dismay, he saw his sweet mate collapsed in exhaustion. Without a word, he came to the new daughter and licked her as his own the same way Keely would have done so if she had been awake. He then placed her to her mother’s stomach so that they could suckle side by side. He didn’t know what to name them and felt that naming them had to come from he and Keely together. It wouldn’t be fair to do so now. What if he chose a bad name?

Fyodor looked at his mate and felt her stomach, to make sure that there were no more to come. “She’s done,” he said with certainty. “Th-Th-Thhhaa… ah, eh… I’m happy she’s done.” He nodded and kissed his sleeping mate. “Sh-she deserves th-this rest…” He looked at his pup-sized hindleg. He hoped that the pups would remain as healthy as they looked. They didn’t seem to be runty or harmed. Despite the mating between a cripple and a runt, it seemed that they came out fine.

Perfectly fine.

[Tobias]

A chill ran down Tobias’s spine when Keely began to whimper again. Unlike Fyodor, he sat almost perfectly still, trying to stay out of the way. He tried to keep the tears from his eyes. He could not think of anything more torturous than seeing his sister in pain. He looked from Fyodor to Keely. He wanted to say something, to do something to ease the pain in one of them, but he could not. His mind raced through all of the things that could be going wrong. Keely looked so miserable, so tired. He just wanted it to be over for her.

He didn’t feel the surge of joy and pride with the second pup as he had the first. A tiny, miserable, selfish part of him hated the pups for the pain they had put their mother through. Of course it was only the tiniest part, and he tried hard to deny that it even existed. They were Keely’s children; they were his family, his blood. But the thought that they could be responsible for harm to Keely let those feelings persist. Sharing Keely was acceptable, losing Keely was not.

He stood suddenly when Keely collapsed after the second birth. It had to be over now, she could take no more. When Fyodor confirmed this, Tobias let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in relief. He smiled softly at Fyodor’s words. Keely had chosen her mate well. A sudden thought flickered in Tobias’s mind and he rushed out of the small den only to return moments later with the jackalope grasped lightly in his jaws. He laid the gift at Fyodor’s feet, “She’ll need this when she wakes up,” he said with a light smile. Now Fyodor wouldn’t have to leave her side. “All will be well. Is there anything more I can do?” he asked. He also didn’t wish to leave the den yet, but he would do anything if he could somehow be of help.

[Fyodor]

Fyodor quietly took the jackalope from Tobias and set it in front of his mate so that it would be the first thing she’d think of when she woke up. He didn’t want her to forget to eat. Fyodor thought that perhaps his mate would want to meet the pups and care for them before she took care of herself—despite the fact that she had to get her strength up.

Finally, Fyodor couldn’t hold his feelings in anymore. He was already as easy to read as a book, but now, he shivered and collapsed on the ground. He turned his head up toward Tobias, “It was too m-m-mmmm-m-m…much.” He whacked the ground angrily in his stutter, upset that he couldn’t speak.

Seeing Keely labor to the point of complete exhaustion made Fyodor’s heart feel raw. He shook his head and said, “I c-could have said no.” He raised his eyes to look at Tobias. And he gave a sigh. “W-wh-whaa-what if I’m not fit to, uh, to be a f-father.” He showed his puppy sized hindleg. It was so small, but was perfectly formed. He let the claws out of his miniature leg before retracting them back inside. Fyodor looked to Keely. “It’s h-hard to look str-strong just for her sometimes.”

He was slightly embarrassed that he let himself go like this. He thought he was putting too much pressure on Tobias and he said, “I-I’m sorrr…sorr…s-sorr.” He couldn’t say it. But he meant it.

[Tobias]

Tobias gave a sympathetic smile. He walked over to where Fyodor had collapsed and sat next to him for support. He was a bit unsure of himself, but decided that it was what he would want himself if he was in such a position. He gaze drifted slowly over Keely’s sleeping form to her wriggling pups and back to Fyodor. He wasn’t used to being the strong one. And right now, he didn’t feel all that strong himself. But he wanted to be more than he had been, and maybe this was his chance to start.

“I really don’t think you could have told her no,” he spoke slowly, letting the words come as they would, his gazing drifting back to his sleeping sister. “Or…rather…you could have told her no, but I don’t think she would have accepted it. Or understood why you told her no. And when she wants something she can be persistent. And I think she truly did want this.”

He looked back at Fyodor with a reassuring gaze. “I don’t think you have to worry about being a father. When Keely collapsed, I froze. The last thing I was thinking about was the newborn. But you went to her. You tended to her. You made sure she was safe.” He felt a surge of guilt inside of him, but suppressed it. “That’s proof enough for me.”

Tobias looked over Fyodor’s small leg, really seeing it for the first time. He had noticed it before, but he had never really gotten a good look at it and had never really tried. And even now, he felt very little upon seeing it. He hoped that it didn’t pain Fyodor, physically at least, the mental pain it caused was evident. But somehow he had never seen it as a weakness in Fyodor. It just…was. It was difficult to explain and he didn’t want to try and sound foolish.

“Keely is special,” he said, and immediately felt stupid for saying it. But he continued anyway, “I think that sometimes she doesn’t need us to be strong for her. Sometimes, she just needs us to be…us. To be the ones she loves, all of our faults included.” He was speaking as much about himself as he was Fyodor, although he wouldn’t realize this until later. “I think she gains strength from love.” Tobias could not really explain that but deep inside he believed it was true.

He paused then, feeling like he was talking too much and wondering if he had said anything that had been in the least bit helpful or comforting to Fyodor. “And you don’t have to be sorry,” he said without really meaning to, “Didn’t I say before that I’d support you and Keely no matter what?” It wasn’t exactly what he had said, but it was what he meant, more or less. He was slightly embarrassed for saying it though, and hoped it didn’t seem too formal or awkward. He appreciated that Fyodor would open up to him, even if it was just because he was the only one around, and he really hoped that he hadn’t done anything to prevent that from happening in the future.

[Fyodor]

Fyodor felt that there was a growing peace. Perhaps all was well. The light colored male pup and his darker sister were done suckling and had gone to sleep. Tobias’ words only strengthened that feeling and soon, all of his anxiety swept away. It didn’t matter what he felt because he knew that he had to be strong for his mate. The fact that Tobias saw his weakened form, a wolf who was so afraid to lose everything because everything was gained by such precarious means.

Fyodor gave a sigh and said, “Thank you” in perfect words for once. He was so set on those two words that he forced them out of his throat and didn’t give them the chance to stumble. It took the utmost effort and Fyodor watched his mate in silence. She was tired and, he hoped, blissfully dreaming of the motherhood she earned through much suffering. This was his litter as much as hers. He still had a shadow of a worry in the back of his thoughts, but then, he decided that, even if his children ended up with his same handicap, that he’d love them in such a way that his parents forbade.

They were his. They were his even if nature decided that they would grow into screw-ups. Something that his own parents couldn’t really give to him. Fyodor hoped that they’d grow healthily, but in the event of bad fortune, he would love them.

Tobias’ supportive words gave Fyodor the strength to promise that. He knew that he couldn’t turn back from his unspoken promise. His turquoise eyes beamed merrily on Toby. Fyodor bowed his head in a small nod and then lifted his muzzle in an authoritative gesture. “Y-y-you deserve m-m-much more than a Plebs r-rrrr-rank.” He fought his every one of his words out of his mouth. He refused to be dumbed down and he refused to trail off and find another way to say what he wanted to say, which was his normal strategy. Usually, he only sang his words to Keely, but this moment demanded that he say what he needed to say. And in his tenor, which wavered only a bit because of his nervousness, he sang, “Toby, Toby... I promote you to Patrician, a rank you well-deserve.” His sweet lyric rang in the caverns and he dropped his head nervously as he stopped short the lasting note.

[Tobias]

The clarity of Fyodor’s words of gratitude was not lost on Tobias. His ears perked excitedly as he took it in. There was substantial weight to those two simple nonstuttered words. Tobias was happy and stranger still, proud of himself. He had such a small role to play here, but he felt that, for once, he had done it well. It was a nice feeling this small blip of confidence that grew inside him.

He watched Keely and her pups slumbering and felt honest love for them. He silently swore that he would always love Keely’s children and do his best to protect them, to make up for his initial feelings at their birth. He was thankful that his worries seemed to have been for naught.

Tobias beamed with pride as Fyodor promoted him. He could understand why this wolf was the leader of the pack. Toby had only known him a short time, and yet he already felt a bond of trust with him. It occurred to him that one of the reasons he liked Fyodor so much was that his words were so genuine. When Fyodor spoke, he meant what he said, and the words held an importance just by being said. This was not a wolf who spoke to hear himself talk or who puffed up his words with fluff and ceremony for their own sake. Fyodor spoke when it was always meaningful, and that gave him a sort of necessary honesty. Coming from anyone else, Toby might think the promotion a sympathy gesture or having some other motive. He certainly would not think he deserved it. But coming from Fyodor the words rang true in an unquestionable way. And being in the caverns for a brief moment it was as though the whole room was literally singing his praises. His tried to keep his tails from wiggling franticly like a pup, but they still wagged enthusiastically behind him.

After his long talk earlier he found himself without words. But he knew that they were unneeded and answered simply and honestly, “Thank you.”

[Keely]

It was dark, but the world was coming back into focus, the voices were around her. She whined softly as she was beginning to wake up. She felt warmth against her body, tiny bodies dry and resting with her. The endorphins of motherhood were released, she felt better, the pain almost completely forgotten. The soreness was still there, though, she she groggily opened her bright eyes.

"Fyodor?" Her voice was weak, but still she wanted him to hear her. Her nose took in the scent of the prey nearby, her stomach lurched at the scent. She lifted her head to try to get her nose away from it. It was not that she wasn't hungry, she was just overall nauseated from the whole experience. She looked around a little bewildered before her eyes fell upon her mate. She gave a ghostly smile, then noticed her brother was there too, "Toby..."

Her head hurt a little, she was still tired, but she was glad to be with her family. She looked down at her small belly, her two pups were sleeping soundly, oblivious to the pain they had caused their mother. "Fyodor...." her eyes welled up with pride and joyful tears.

[skyshade]

Obi walked through the caverns making sure to look where he was going. He had just finished hunting and had a small mouse in his mouth. He heard some talking and then a whimper from Keely's den. Obi turned to go give Keely the mouse.

When Obi got to Keely's den he saw Keely looking very weak and Fyodor and Toby around her. Obi dropped the mouse and rushed forward.

"Keely! Are you alright? What happened..." Obi stopped mid sentence when his eyes fell on two very small pups against Keely's fur. Obi started to smile.

"Are they ok?" Obi asked, not taking his eyes off the pups. He felt excitment run through his veins. It took everything in his control not to jump up and shout with joy.