Darkness in One's Heart.(open)

[skyshade]

Obi lazily watched as the water in front of him rushed by. flowers around him leaned over his back making him nearly invisible. Though it looked like he was being lazy he was deep in thought.

Lately he just hadn't been up to doing his work, his duties. He had just wanted to sit down and watch the river. Though he had continued being smiling and happy, and just plain Obi around other's when by himself, he felt something growing, making just about doing anything like a heavy duty.

Obi sighed and adjusted his head to rest on his paw. Ever since the pups had come, this piece of darkness started to form deep in his heart. He loved the pups, every bit of them, but it seemed like everyone was happy but him. He wanted something more but he didn't know what.

This darkness was dangerous. He knew that. It made him so unhappy, unwilling, as if nothing was worth doing any more, but he couldn't stop it. But he had to. He needed to be happy for the pups and his family.

"Oh, what am I going to do though? Threaten myself into being happy?" Suddenly he felt like crying. he rolled onto his back and scratched it, twisting back and forth, squishing some flowers. This always made him feel better.

[Fyodor]

Fyodor hobbled, thirsty for the water that had been warmed somewhat by the sunlight. The chilling autumn had made even the underground river chilly as can be. Perhaps the sun on the water of the swerve would make it so that it wouldn’t freeze his tongue. The Consul licked his mouth as he thought about what a frozen tongue would feel like. His tufted ears were laid close to his skull as he paced through the tall grass. It wound around his paws at times, and Fyodor could have sworn that it was deliberately doing so. But it was only his own clumsiness at fault.

The open plains were a tapestry of light and dry grass. And from the distance, Fyodor stood, the Papaver Swerve was nothing more than a silver shimmer. The scent of the trickling bend promised a fresh taste of water, without the empty flavor of the underground lacing it. He was in love with his territory and the endless sky and land around him resonated with his affection for his lands. He felt as if he had taken this world by force rather than be thrust into this position because it fit him so well. He was abnormally happy. However, his happiness had been increasing as his self-esteem grew greater due to his pack’s acceptance of him despite his stutter and his deformity. It was a sweet pack. Sweet like… the scent of crushed flowers?

The scent of crushed flowers seemed out of place when Fyodor neared the crisp waters of the swerve. It interrupted his thoughts and masked the fresh smell of the flowing water. He slowed his approach, but then sped up when he noticed that it was only Obi. Merrily, Fyodor limped to his packmember. “M-making yourself a dose of perfume?” Fyodor said with a smile and a tune to his words.

[skyshade]

Obi looked up to see Fyodor standing beside him. Chuckling, Obi stood up a bit, pushing his dark thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Well, don't tell Keely, but there are definitely some places that need it, like Toby's den..." Obi shook, sending flowers every, including up his nose. After sneezing a purple one out he looked back up and smiled again.

"No I am not making perfume, just doing some heavy thinking. I know shocker." Obi pretended then to be distracted by a butterfly near the water's edge to recollect his thoughts. Finally he turned back to Fyodor when he had scared the poor insect away.

"So what brings you here?"

[Fyodor]

“I w-w-w –wahhh… was… um, g-going for a drin-n-nk,” he forced the words from his mouth, but wasn’t as embarrassed as he usually was. The attitude of the pack was this: Fyodor stuttered, but he was a great leader, so nobody cared too much. He passed Obi carefully. He gave a sheepish smile before lowering his front legs and then half-lowered his hind leg. His puplike leg was on the tips of its toes while his other leg was folded in a squat. His balance was poor. He immediately wrapped his tails around his legs so that Obi wouldn’t notice. It was instinct really, but he felt somewhat uncomfortable with having another wolf around while he was drinking his water.

His blue eyes were facing the water, he saw his pink nose—a trait his whole family shared thanks to Keely’s own pink nose—and admired the fact that he did have a family now. His embarrassment melted and he finally lowered his muzzle to break the surface with ripples and the gentle lapping of a thirsty wolf’s tongue. The water was sweet and cold—the flavor of a fresh, underground spring.

After having his drink, Fyodor said, “Y-you know what, Ob-buh-b-bi.” He stopped his sentence there, and mused over the name. “Obi,” he continued with the centurion’s correct name, “I’m haaah-h-hah...” He gave up that thread of thought. What he wanted to say was how happy he was to live here. He had a family, a pack that loved him, and the life he was told that he could never have because of his short comings.

He stopped, remembering something Obi had said, “What were you th-thinking ab-buh… about anyways?” Fyodor was a great listener.

[skyshade]

Obi smiled a Fyodor.

Here was one wolf he didn't mind being around at all. In Obi's mind, Fyodor, was a respectable wolf with a down to earth view, something that Obi only wished to have.

Obi desperatly tried to find a way to avoid the question. His eye's grew wide with fear as he found he had no way out.

He looked away from Fyodor realizing he would have to lie to keep this growing darkness a secret.

"I was thinking about...how beautiful the stream is. We should show it to the..." Obi stopped for a second as he struggled with the word pups. "Pups."

He looked down, trying to get distracted by something, so that his voice wouldn't crack. For some reason, the pups made him very sad.

he walked over to the stream and put one of his paws in the cold water.

[Fyodor]

Fyodor was happy that he was somewhat able to lift Obi’s spirits, but as soon as he coaxed a smile from the Centurion’s face, it faded and was replaced with a rather struggling expression. The Consul frowned and said, “It is…isn…isn’t hard to f-f-figure out… th-that you are h-h-hiding someth-thing.” Fyodor struggled through the words, but the worry was clear on his face. He wondered why Obi was so stressed, why he seemed so depressed.

The Centurion put a paw into the stream. Fyodor raised his body up slowly to make sure that he wouldn’t fall over. His many tails waved behind him as they untangled themselves from his hind legs. He stood proudly despite his disabilities and quietly said, “Y-Y-Y-You’re allowed t-t-to feel sad.” Fyodor lowered his tufted ears. His orange fur was bright in the sunlight. The dry plains were a perfect home for him. There wasn’t any mud from the rains that would get his feet wet when it would come and there weren’t very many predators. A large underground cavern provided shelter, but all that he had seemed meager, small, insignificant compared to the happiness of his pack members.

Fyodor frowned and then said, “W-w-would you like m-mmm-me to stay?” He wasn’t prepared to leave, his heart suddenly heavy.

[skyshade]

"You're aloud to feel sad." For some reason those words brought tears to his eyes.

"No please don't leave!" Obi jumped up at Fyodor. He slipped and fell back into the icy cold water gasping. Due to the reflexes he had honed from his constant falling he clawed his way back onto the land, soaking wet and miserable.

"Ugh!" he huffed falling back down onto the ground making the dirt around him and on his fur mud. "I'm just lonely in way. I mean, I have the pack, my brother and sister are always around, but I want..."

He sighed and rolled onto his back, looking up at a leaf that fell gracefully. "A family."

[Fyodor]

Obi fell backward into the stream as he yelled out for Fyodor. The Consul stopped in his tracks and turned his head toward the Centurion. The water was icy and Fyodor could only assume, too that it must have dampened his spirit further.

Fyodor listened as he stood straight and confident. Here was Obi’s moment of weakness. He needed to be strong so that Obi could find something to anchor to. A strong wolf was always a good anchor, the perfect shoulder to cry on.

“A n-n-n-noble de-desiiii, desiii-ahhh... Ummm, want. Th-th…” He stopped. He frowned, angry with the fact that he couldn’t get his thoughts out. But he had his strategy. In soft, low notes and a gentle melody, Fyodor sang, “The pack is growing, new wolves come in, and one day, you’ll have your sweet someone.” He shyly lowered his eyes, a bit embarrassed that he had to resort to singing to explain to Obi that soon enough, he’d have a mate to call his own.

Fyodor hoped that Obi at least felt a little better. If only Obi knew how lonely Fyodor was before. How much he thought it was impossible for him, this stuttering, limping mess of a wolf, to get a mate… and yet, he found his perfect female. And they shared a family. It was something he could only wish that Obi would be able to find as well. Having little healthy wolves running around made him feel accomplished and proud. Every wolf should feel the same at least in a single point in their life.

[skyshade]

Obi smiiled at what Fyodor sang. He wouldn't say it out loud but he liked it a bit when his gentle Leader would sing. It relaxed him.

"Thanks." Obi already felt better just letting the words of his heart come off of his tounge. The darkness was starting to fade away.

He turned to look at the path back to the den.

"We should head back!" He bounced off smiling. He would find someone, someday, he would have to patient. Not one of Obi's good traits.