Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 5, 2010 13:26:43 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]She needed solitude, she had far too much interaction with the pack of strangers she joined in that past few days. She had only been here a few weeks and already Gypsy was considering changing her whims again and wandering off.
She was exhausted from helping the alpha give birth, even though she didn't have to do much aside talk her through it. Her animosity toward others was becoming taxing. She had kept so much locked up in her all these years, and something about a few of the members just made her jaded. She didn't like the beta one bit, she respected the alpha male enough, but their personalities clashed. The alpha female was decent to be around when she was not fighting with the alpha male.
As callous as she was, deep down she was beginning to fear. Fear of abandonment, attachment....loyalty. So long had she been on her own, the past few weeks had been completely crazy. The sennyo sighed and settled her body near the edge of the calm part of the river. Her cold blue eyes took in the sceneary, this was where meetings were supposed to be held....good thing there wasn't one. Gypsy had no idea why she joined the pack.....was it because Rawls was? Had she really followed a male and done something she had not done in years?
The black wolfess looked into the water, her reflection stared back at her with contempt. Her antennae arched forward and as if she had seen her reflection for the first time. Why are you so cold, Gypsy? Why are you closed off?
....." Why are you here......?" | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 9, 2010 21:47:36 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh lay quietly in the shadow of the canyon. He was contemplative, wondering to himself why he had allowed all of this to happen and what the Great Spirit wanted from him to keep placing him in these painful scenarios. He lowered his head to his hooves, his chin on the stone between them. Everything was his fault; he knew it. He was a wolf living through his own life and despite the fact that two souls stared from the same eyes, it was his body, not Destry’s—no matter if Destry did have some influence on his appearance.
The Myou smacked his dry mouth as he thought about getting a drink. He had been lying in the shade for quite some time and in the dark coolness—a shade against the hot Late Spring sun. The wolf raised himself to an awkward sitting position before completing his ascension to a full stand. Daintily, he picked up his hooves, which clacked noisily upon the rocks. The rush of a waterfall could be heard over all else and the sweet scent of running water masked anything distinct. His eyes, placed in the peripheral like a true buck’s, viewed the world in panoramic. He could see around him, the beauty of the world, and the waterfall came into view, its mist made the air sparkle.
However, something made the hair on the back of his neck rise. A small note of a scent touched into his keen nostrils. Gypsy. Raleigh considered turning around right now and avoiding her, but was parched. He had walked this far and to walk away from the crystal waters would only make him thirstier. Besides, perhaps they did need to talk to each other. By the cruel fate, they had ended up in the same packs. Or perhaps it was simply destiny.
He moved quietly, walking over moss to muffle the clip-clop of his hooves. The waterfall thundered with power not too far away, but somehow, the geology had managed a miracle: a slow moving stretch of river. He lowered his antlered head into the water. Those bony branches played in the water as he drank, quenching his thirst. The antlers made ripples across the slow river. He watched them echo bigger and bigger until he saw the blue and black shape of that Sennyo female across the river.
Her form made his heart ache. She was beautiful, wise, and selfish from the life she lived. He longed for her. Although he swore to himself that he no longer loved her, he knew he had lied. Unable to keep this icy tension between them, he crossed the river. The water was cold and icy, still a Spring river, but he wasn’t long to make it to Gypsy’s side. Raleigh stood in the shallows, the water making his hooves look small and crooked from the broken mirror of the surface. He pricked his ears toward her in hope that he could look all the more friendly.
“Tell me why.”
He was finally ready to listen.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 10, 2010 7:27:20 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]Her cold eyes seemed to have softened as she was doing self-reflecting, showing briefly the scared little girl from what seemed like eons ago. His presence caught her off gaurd, she really didn't notice him till he was right in front of her, speaking. She looked up at his oddly friendly expression, a slight glimmer in her eye that could only be called warmth. Something familar.
Rawls had been the only 'relationship' she had had in over a century, as broken as it may be. Seeing him usually brought contempt and an unhealthy desire on both parties. However right now, he was actually willing to listen....perhaps be a friend after all they had been through. She looked back at her now broken reflection, seeing his close by, just as distorted.
"I just helped the alpha give birth....even to the point that I went INTO the whelping den and pulled a pup out of her ass." She seemed perplexed by the past days events, as if she no longer knew herself. It unnerved her, "I can still taste the afterbirth...." She made an expression with her mouth and tongue similar to what dogs do when they have peanut butter stuck on the roof of their mouth. " I loathe puppies....but I couldn't stop myself from going in there...."
She looked back up at the deer myou.....as if to ask 'What's wrong with me?' She remained laying down by the river, adjusting to have a more sphinx-like posture with her floating tail twitching now and then and her dainty, worn forepaws dabbling in the river. She was too preoccupied to play games or to be coy, she needed to talk...oddly enough, for the first time in her life. | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 10, 2010 21:28:53 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh was able to listen to her. His declaration against her love had muffled his lust for her enough to make him think straight. With coherent thoughts, Destry wasn’t taking charge in the consciousness. Wolf and deer within him were at peace. She seemed fretful about the whole situation.
“If you are wondering why you did it, it’s simply because you are a wolf. There is something behind all of our actions… that makes us wolves. If you were to… ignore the whole thing, you’d have been the same as the unicorn, the fox, the winged fish, and the jackalope—not a wolf. It’s the difference between loners and pack wolves.” He paused a bit to find the simplest way to define his meandering thoughts. “It’s simply loyalty.” He tried to explain his little theory on her actions, but wondered just how short he fell. Disappointing Gypsy seemed a constant. And he depended on it.
However, something about knowing that she was capable of loyalty made him feel like perhaps they might be able to get on the same page. Perhaps one day, they could just put the past behind them and build a new relationship without the mind games, the power struggle, and the selfishness. Or, perhaps, they were star-crossed lovers, fated always to fall to ill-fortune.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 10, 2010 22:02:54 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]His words made sense, and it terrified her. Loyalty? No, that only ended in suffering. She stood up abruptly, back pedaling a bit so she didn't hit his velvet antlers, not wanting to hurt him. Wait. Hell. There she went again, being all considerate!
She shook her head, the baubles on her antennae bobbed a little. " No. That would mean trust. And that never ends well...." her past was haunting her even more now that she was in a pack, especially since she helped birth pups. The last time she was truly in a pack was the last time for a good reason. She was abandoned, betrayed. She hated it.
Every other time she tried to join a pack, as soon as she felt settled, she would leave, running from the new things that made her memories resurface. Her whims became cynical and her spurs were not as random as they had once been. What was different about this pack, that seemed to attempt to anchor her in place?
Her eyes widened, as it hit her. She looked up at the deer-myou, her expression was a mix of shock, realization and contempt, "It's you. You are the reason I am still here....." The very thought of it made her spin around to turn her back, to hide her face from him. All these emotions....her heart was thawing and she didn't like it. | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 12, 2010 0:00:29 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Ever since those words flew from his mouth, Raleigh was hyperaware of every instance she was considerate. Her movements seemed to be wary of his. She stood up, but leaned back to avoid his antlers—which were in velvet. Not even the blue ends of her antennae whispered over them. She was careful with him. It sort of surprised him that she was capable of such behavior, but, then again, was he really paying attention before?
Raleigh waded out of the water as she spoke, but an ear turned to her voice and the fact that he kept watch of where she was made it rather obvious that despite moving to a more comfortable location, he was indeed listening. He felt more comfortable when his hooves touched upon the shore. He remained quiet as he turned to her and sat down awkwardly.
Cloven hooves made sitting down a really odd thing. It looked unnatural, felt unnatural, but was more comfortable than standing to Raleigh’s strange half-wolf body. He nodded small nods to acknowledge that he heard what she said. His eyes were looking on at her with interest. What was her history? Why did she act the way she acted. And there was an almost ethereal beauty to her as she softly contemplated. It made the moment when she finally spoke seem more cruel.
Contempt made her voice icy in his ears. The sound of it made Raleigh turn his ears backward and avert his eyes. When he looked up again, she had turned away. A soft whine escaped his throat, revealing his concern over her. Because his eyes were placed on his head like a prey animal, he had to turn his muzzle from her and look at her with one side of his face to truly and completely see her with all of his attention. He spoke with a careful tone, but it was sincere, “Gyp, you make that sound like a bad thing.” He wagged his tail, hoping that she wouldn’t hate him for saying that. Raleigh felt easy to hate lately, messing everything up.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 12, 2010 9:00:36 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]She stared at the ground, she was frustrated and perhaps a little angry at herself more than anything else. She sat down heavily, her tail floating silently to the ground to rest still. Her antennae folded down her neck and her wings remained opened.
One ear flickered toward his voice, was it really a bad thing? Perhaps she should be more honest with him. Maybe it would make him finally stop wanting her, for him to know that she was indeed mortal just like him. Not a magical fairy of desire. She swallowed, a cold lump forming in her throat made her question if she should drop her facade.
" It might be a bad thing...you are the closest thing to an actual relationship I've had in one-hundred and thirteen years." The irony of it made her sick, they did not have a healthy relationship in the least. They had abused each other, ripped into each other, hated each other....but they still found themselves around eachother.
She didn't want to look at him, it scared her to think that she was actually opening up. She didn't want him to see her pain, her eyes, her past. Why did he care? Why was he here? Did he even know? | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 13, 2010 1:05:36 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh leaned back in his sitting stance; it almost looked as if he might rock onto his back, belly—up, but he didn’t. Instead, he just adjusted the way he sat such that his hocks and feet could meet cleanly on the moist ground. Having deer hooves were incompatible with wolf legs sometimes. Wolves walked on their toes; deer, their nails. He had gotten more comfortable as soon as what they were doing sunk in. He had become welcome in her presence.
He listened with intent, pure and sharp. He wanted to know more, and, for once, it was not for the sole purpose of controlling her, beating her, taking her as a trophy. Raleigh had abandoned such efforts; the stag within him had finally given up the chase, as if Gypsy had grown undesirable because she was no longer playing hard-to-get. Her words affected Raleigh when he realized his role in her life and how badly he had ruined his part in it.
He had thought himself some throw-away wolf. Some unimportant idiot in her life that was merely trying to prove that he was worthy enough to steal her, to make her have one small false move and he’d do all in his power to make her his. And, he did so. Shamefully. He had violated her, gave her a litter she did not want—and yes, she tried to reject them using the poison. Raleigh was a small youth compared to her, a single dribble of life compared to her great river.
But what was his role now? What must he do? Raleigh wanted to comfort her perhaps. But was afraid that doing that would revoke the license she gave him that allowed him to be in her presence. However, he could tell that she wasn’t the brave, confident wolf he first met. She wasn’t the female who spoke with icy fire and indignant nobility. She was beautiful to him in the curves of her body—lovelier now thanks to the sin he committed unto her. She was beautiful in the scorn of her heart. And now, beautiful in her melancholy.
But then, what lovely creature would be her smile? A new goal unfolded itself. Instead of forcing her into some object of desire, his new goal would be to see a true smile straight from her heart. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then someday. Someday, he’d see to it that his being in her life was truly a good thing.
“Gypsy…”
He cocked an eye at the back of her head. She was facing away. She looked weak, small, crumpled. Everything about her was opposite what made him first decide to chase her, but everything about her now rekindled some of the lost lust.
“Gypsy,” he repeated before continuing, “I’m… sorry.” And he bowed his head to hide his own eyes. They felt hot with tears. He felt so stupid. He couldn’t say anything else. He wanted to say more, but stuck with that stupid apology. A thousand words in his heart, but the only ones able to leave his throat were ‘I’m sorry.’
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 13, 2010 17:00:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]The silence was deafening, she felt like she was on the spot, she usually liked attention, but not like this. This was uncomfortable and awkward, she felt as if she had no control over whatever it was that was going on.
His voice made her ears fold down quietly. He was apologizing again. For what? For having this terrible relationship. For what he had done to her? He had already apologized for that. Right before he decided he hated her and no longer wanted her. She slumped to the ground, laying down on the hard earth, she didn't know what else to do.
The dust around her tickled her nose, she decided now was as good as time as any to have a dust bath. Keep off the insects that seemed to come out in the heat of day. She rolled in the reddish dirt, getting a fine dust over her dark body. She paused a moment while she was on her back, she dared to glance at him.
" It helps with ticks, and other biting bugs if you are interested." It was the only thing she could think off to get the subject off her past. He wasn't asking questions, so she took the moment, her voice returning mostly to normal, minus the icy blade for now. | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 15, 2010 9:40:16 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh’s ears pricked toward the Sennyo’s words and he mimicked her actions. It was something to get off of the uncomfortable subject of what had happened in the past between him and her. A thousand apologies could not right what had happened between them. He knew that. But his mind was troubled. Why was it the only thing he could say?
The deer myou lay on his side, covered in a layer of fine dust. Hopefully this would keep the external parasites at bay. They did make him quite uncomfortable at times with their incessant presence. However, it was clearer to Raleigh that simply being in a well-established, active pack seemed to keep him cleaner, and, as a whole, less prone to a tick infestation. Gypsy’s little lesson had helped further that trend.
“Thanks,” from the ground, Raleigh looked up at the tall Sennyo, appearing even more giant from above. He looked away. He wondered if she thought him selfish. She kept making him feel selfish that he believed himself nothing but selfish now. Everything that had happened. It had been his fault. Everything that will happen will be his fault as well. What if she knew how much he wanted to take it back? What if she knew how much he wanted to just be a normal wolf and not be a victim to the whims of a powerful buck’s soul? Perhaps he was overthinking it; obsessing over only a small piece of life, but it was really the only thing he could think of when he was with Gypsy.
He sighed and lowered his head to his hooves. The hard, sharp hooves which he had wished weren’t his, were never his. Despite his apparent pride, he was so full of self-hate. He had only just begun to love his body when he completely started to hate it. As he saw it, the only reason why he was forced into this cursed life of broken relationships was because he was a Deer Myou.
“Do you ever wish you were someone else sometimes?” There was a quiet musing quality to his voice. Sweet, but ever so downhearted.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 16, 2010 16:52:09 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]She stood up as he began to roll, watching him and his awkward body grouse on the ground. Her tail seemed to come back to life, seeming to float into the still air as light as a feather.
She thought back over the past year, had it really only been a year? Her lean body sat down as she pondered meeting the myou and his mate on the same day. He wondered if he even thought about Li anymore. Gypsy sure as hell didn't, not did she see any sign of the bitch around.
Despite the grief the odd pair shared with each other, it was oddly peaceful the two of them just sitting by the water, covered in dust. Time seemed to move slower, which was actually a relief for the old female. Too many times had individuals she knew just vanished in a blink of an eye. His words brought her out of her musings.
"Someone else?" It was a strange question, she had always been relatively self-centered and conceited. If she was not a sennyo she would have been dead long ago. But if she was a different Sennyo....perhaps the one that he no doubtingly left her for......left her pregnant and alone. " I suppose....there was a time when I wanted that. Long ago." | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 18, 2010 1:21:46 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh lowered his ears and said, “I try, I really try to see things on your side. But I don’t know anything.” His brown eyes looked soulfully large. He didn’t know why he was saying this and was just a little afraid that it might invoke a furious rage. “Simply living is hard. I try to live right by it, but always, I fail.”
He wobbled to his feet, almost drunk on his own misery. His turned the mud underfoot and the feeling of his hooves slicing the most soil was enough to make him realize, yet again, how unwolflike he was. Raleigh twitched his tail. A longer version of the buck’s flag, but he couldn’t love his tail as he loved Gypsy’s tail. Everywhere, he stepped, the earth was marred by his sharp prints.
Suddenly, he had a sharp revelation—what he hoped was an out from this depressing atmosphere. “Gyp, I have an idea. Why don’t we leave the past and just move on?” He offered a smile, “’Long ago’. It’s funny because it makes both of us sad.”
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 18, 2010 9:48:31 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]Her ears twitched and her eyes narrowed in question to his segway. It took her a second to understand. She watched him paw at the soil. He, like most myou, didn't want to be myou.
She, being one that loved herself above all, couldn't see why he didn't love himself. Well perhaps she could....she ventured to voice her opinion of his delima. " You are who you are, Raleigh, you have to accept that or you can never move on." She stood and walked a circle around him, similar to the times they were flirting back and forth. " You are right, we have to move past the past. It catches up with you, just so you know. I've been running from my past for a hundred years, and you see me right now."
She paused in front of him, her nose almost touching his, "Maybe it is easier when there is someone else trying to do the same thing. I suppose that is one thing I have not tried." She turned and took a few steps to get some water, thinking over her next few words. Once her throat was wet, she looked back at him.
" The deer in you might not have the same views as the wolf, but that is why you ARE a wolf. You just have some ornaments that are of the deer, and you have another set of instincts jockeying for position. But you are a wolf more than you are a deer." She came back to him and actually licked him on the cheek. Perhaps it was her way of saying that she forgave him after all. Her eyes were still cold, but not as icy as they had once been. | |
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Sept 19, 2010 21:28:04 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Her actions seemed more friendly at least. She even almost touched him, nose to nose. However, the lick upon the cheek came as a big surprise. His already large deerlike eyes went wider in pleasant shock. Did this mean she forgave him? He didn’t want to go too quickly. Perhaps forgiveness didn’t mean that he could return her kiss. Raleigh remained conservative in his actions and gave a warm smile. She was right. Despite the fact that they were different species, they were wolves. It was enough to make him feel welcome again.
He could feel his blood run quicker through his body as his heart raced. However, he didn’t want to make everything crash down again. Right now was not the moment to let his deer half win. His hooves were crushed into the mud, as if making it harder to move would make it harder to lose himself. And then, Raleigh realized that when Gypsy was involved, he could control his urges. He was not relaxed at all, but he was controlled. And that was enough to show that he cared, wasn’t it?
“Gyp,” he said in a tight voice, “it means a lot… but I still have a long way to go.” He sighed and felt, almost as if he could ease up a bit, just by admitting that. However, every inch of his body was attracted to her and he kept telling himself he hated her, didn’t want her, just to keep himself from making the same fatal mistake twice.
If he raped her again, she would not forgive him. He stepped a few paces from her before stopping, hoping to reframe the situation onto Gypsy rather than himself. “It’s nice to hear you warming up.”
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Sept 21, 2010 17:26:42 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i50.tinypic.com/34z0jf9.jpg]Her eyes lingered over his body, deep down maybe she feared that he would lose control again. She may have forgiven him, but she could not fully trust him. To be fair, she really never trusted him too much to begin with, nor anyone else for that matter. He did keep coming back and she did follow him to this pack, something about him made him stick with her. Even deeper down, she kind of liked that.
She bent to satisfy her thirst one more time, her pink tongue greatly contrasted her dark pelt. She looked back at him as he spoke, ears pointed forward to hear him, " Everyone has a long way to go." She was feeling better over all, perhaps she would go find a cool den to nap in.
His voice came back to her, and oddly enough it seemed to wrap her up as she gathered and realized what was happeneing. She gave a slight smirk, more amused than anything else, " I guess I have my moments. See you later, deer-boy" Her tail twitched a farewell as she began to walk away. She could have been stopped if he wanted to keep talking. It was up to him at this point, and for once in a long while, she was willing. | |
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