|
Post by Apocalypse on Mar 31, 2010 22:58:43 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] The answer actually surprised Apocalypse a bit, quite a feat considering his age. He had met enough yagi's in the past to have a fixed stereotype for them. Oh well, there was one in every generation. His form was still smokey, but now more solidified. He looked like a great black wolf in the shadows. His red eyes blazed like dying stars.
"We are all alone, no matter how you slice it." His words rumbled forth from his barrel like chest. His four tails twitched back and forth, the single lit one was leaving an odd sort of trail. Like a sublime sparkler, muted to just red-orange colors. "Power too much work for you? Or are you just scared of losing it once you get it?"
He peered out of Jelani's minds eye, trying to see the world from his perspective. Harbingers were always alone. It was better that way....but to see a mortal yearn for solitude, made him only wonder if Jelani was just naive.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Apr 1, 2010 9:29:20 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]Jelani didn't comment upon the first statement, not entirely sure what point Apocalypse was trying to prove there. The yagi didn't care if anyone else was alone, just so long as he was left to his solitude. He saw no reason in questioning the harbinger though, it seemed that perhaps that didn't matter anyway though, for Apocalypse fell back onto the subject of power. It seemed that a further explanation would be needed, neither assumption was true.
"Neither. Power would involve company. I'm better off alone. No one to bother me, no one to lose." Perhaps the last sentence gave more information than Jelani wished too, it certainly opened up a whole lot more of assumptions and questions that could be fired at the yagi, though he couldn't help but hope that Apocalypse would let the subject drop. History wasn't a favoured subject of his, he wished to spare the details.
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Apr 3, 2010 12:00:03 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] He snorted smoke and sparks from his nostrils at the retort. Seems he would have no luck recruiting this individual, oh well. At least he had a free ride for a little bit, a host to recharge his energy in. Reinforce his existence in the world. the only thing that Apocalypse would question now was his reasons for being alone. He would not pry, but he would offer a few things.
"Well, what about spreading your genes, replacing yourself with at least one offspring. That's a deeply rooted instinct that all wolves seem to have. " To him one could still be alone after siring offspring. He had rarely been around to be any sort of father to his children. He had only really watched one birthing of a litter he was responsible for in his centuries of life.
He knew that the yagi would rather be left alone, but he would not stand for it. At least not until they reached the end of the desert. Then Apocalypse would leave him in peace. Perhaps he was making the trek easier for Jelani. Who knew?
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Apr 24, 2010 17:27:17 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]In all honesty, Jelani had never really thought of having offspring. His sole intentions were always to escape other wolves, no matter the species or gender, though of course he had failed miserably with Apocalypse. Jelani had once been close to family though, if he ever were to have young then chances were he would grow attached to them, want to be around them and protect them. It would only lead to more hurt in the end. He wouldn't allow himself to care for anyone else again, he'd simply keep away; no family, no young.
Perhaps if he were to open up his mind a little, then deep down he might discover that in truth a litter of pups wouldn't be the end of the world, far from it when his genes were concerned especially, and Apocalypse was correct, it was normal, a natural thing to want. Jelani was all past living life naturally though; the unsociable yagi refused to associate himself with others, always keeping his distance.
What did any of this have to do with power though anyway? Of course being a father would give you a certain amount of power, control over his children, of course providing he didn't go down the path of absent father that is. Was all of this simply some kind of game, an attempt to make him open up to wanting some level of power, no matter how small it was. Such ideas were foolish though, why would anyone go to such lengths for meaningless details?
He chose to quit thinking so hard on those points, it was probably a better plan to answer the harbinger's question. If he were to be truthful in his reply then there were a few things standing in his way. The first was a thought that there was no point in trying, others had pups and his would probably suffer some drastic loss, for him or maybe even them too if they survived long enough. He didn't seem to be a lucky wolf, chances were they'd inherit the misfortune. The second was possibly a lack of self confidence in himself. He never really made good impressions anymore, appearance wise wasn't quite the problem but his personality certainly was. Who would want any pups of his?
"I'm not bothered." Jelani responded simply after a moment. It was the truth, simply not his reasoning. Apocalypse was likely to attempt to coax more out of him, judging by his earlier reaction to the power comment he wasn't quite satisfied with the answers that he was receiving.
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Apr 29, 2010 11:53:48 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] Considering that the yagi was not very responsive in general, the harbinger took the liberty of making conversation by using the surface thoughts that Jelani had.
"So, commitment issues is it? Afraid of getting attached?" Apocalypse was determined to keep the wolf either talking or thinking. He wanted out of the desert as well, but his attention span at the moment required he have some mental stimulation. generally he would have been just fine keeping to himself. Today he was bored and this wolf was an odd one. Rarely did he find a wolf like this one. It was like finding candy in the vegetable aisle.
He lounged in the wolf's mind, watching the thoughts flick by as if they were fish in a pond. His red eyes burned through the darkness and seclusion of the mind, waiting to dig up more topics for discussion.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Apr 29, 2010 12:25:13 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]Commitment issues, yes. Though he wouldn't actually describe himself as having them it was indeed the truth. He wasn't the sort of wolf to commit, well not to anything other than his own isolation and determination to keep it that way. That wasn't the commitment that Apocalypse spoke of though, he meant a commitment to others and that was certainly something that the yagi would never guarantee again. At least he never planned on it, there was a chance that one day it may finally change, though this wasn't a thought that was running through Jelani's mind.
"I wouldn't say afraid." Jelani responded, his tone now a little sharper than it had been. He didn't really like the harbinger's wording of the phrase. He wasn't afraid of getting attached, he had been attached to others before, it wasn't a bad thing till you lost them. The yagi simply didn't want to get attached again, not having to ever face the loss. That was the better way to word things; he was afraid of losing someone. That was another thought that he didn't admit to though.
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Apr 30, 2010 11:10:36 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] Now he was getting somewhere. His interest crept up into nosiness again. Had he been sitting beside the wolf, he would have scooted closer. In all fairness, he very well may have in Jelani's mind. If the wolf was projecting him out, then yes, he came closer keen to discover more.
"You wouldn't, eh? Then how would you describe it....fear?" His voice was dark, deep and rumbling. He liked fear. He loved it actually. Seeing it in the minds of wolves made him feel stronger, superior. Like he had an inkling of power over the corporeal. Nightmares were his absolute favorite, it was like twisting an arm behind the host once he found the deepest fears.
He wondered if this wolf would allow him access to the nightmares. Or even just repeat access to visit again and poke around. His four tails flickered behind him like a cat fixing to pounce.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Apr 30, 2010 12:32:41 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]Jelani was silent for a moment, feeling a little uneasy from the sudden movement of Apocalypse. Any normal wolf the yagi probably would have been far less acceptable of the action, a growl, perhaps a shove but Jelani wasn't sure if he could actually touch the harbinger or if he would simply fall right through the wolf. He seemed more solid now than he had done before, but he couldn't help but remember the ghostly figure that had first appeared beside him. Further away as well he remembered.
He chose to move himself, turning himself slightly away moving in a slightly more diagonal line. He cast a look over his shoulder at that point, as if only just aware that he had been walking the whole time. How far had he travelled? He couldn't really tell in this barren place, it all looked the same.
He cast his attention back to his paws, or rather the land ahead. He straightened his line and picked up speed to fall back into a walking pace rather than the dawdle he'd had a moment ago when he had glanced back, and fell into thought about the walk. A part of him was tempted to see if Apocalypse knew how far they'd moved, though the yagi suspected he would only assume that it was an attempt at a subject change, a very poor one at that.
He went back to his question then, he seemed so mocking in some ways. Fear. No he didn't fear commitment or getting attached, or scared of having company in general, before Apocalypse even suggested that. He wasn't scared at this moment with the strange wolf here. Nor was he really attached to the annoying harbinger, and so didn't fear losing him either, not like he would have done with a friend or family member, someone he truly cared about. He knew little about Apocalypse though, he couldn't really care too much about him. That was a thought that hadn't really formed in his mind though, fortunately for he probably could have easily pictured Apocalypse commenting upon his lack of care, even if only sarcastically.
A small sigh passed his lips. "I don't want to get attached." He said simply, emphasis on the want, it wasn't fear. He hoped that Apocalypse would drop the topic now, move onto something else but somehow had doubts that the harbinger would actually give in so easily. "Being alone is easier."
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on May 24, 2010 8:37:14 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] Being alone. That was all Apocalypse really knew. So the sentiment did not quite need another question. He felt the wolf becoming more and more defensive though, if he wanted to stick around he might have to be less prying...for now.
"It's easier. For count of laziness or just in general? Is survival truly easier alone or just more convenient alone. Less things to worry about, not wanting to care about things...or just not wanting to do things with others." His words were swimming in circles it seemed, but at least it was giving him options. He did not think that this wolf was lazy like some of his words were saying, but he wanted to be told what the answer was.
As if to help him along, the harbinger offered a little information about himself, " I am mostly alone, less competition. Though I have a few...acquaintances that I see now and then. I hardly consider myself committed to them though. We all take care of ourselves with little to no help. Conversation on occasion with them isn't terrible, it's almost refreshing." He sprawled out a little on his belly, lounging in the mind o Jelani.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on May 24, 2010 9:54:03 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]Try as he might, Jelani really didn't know what to make of Apocalypse. The strange thing was both annoying and yet pleasant company at the same time. It was impossible to ignore him like he would with a normal wolf, and it was forcing him to communicate properly, he missed it. On the other hand, the fact that he still couldn't see a way to be rid of Apocalypse or avoid his endless questioning wasn't quite so pleasing. Perhaps solitary would win again when he was finally alone, or would he miss the strange new acquaintance.
Now it certainly wasn't laziness that caused him to be alone. If anything it was a little more effort trying to survive, though of course a particuarly lazy wolf could possibly be forced out of a pack if he didn't pull his weight. Apocalypse already knew that it was the yagi's own choice to be alone, it had certainly been hinted at. The harbinger was spot on with some of his following guesses though.
It was more convenient to be alone in some cases, and as Apocalypse had put it; less things to worry about, not wanting to care about things. Jelani didn't wanted to care, caring hurt when you lost them, and he'd probably be constantly worrying about that moment of loss if he ever befriended anyone again. That wasn't a life worth living, it was easier, safer to be alone.
Apocalypse had his answer, though the harbinger of course didn't know that, still awaiting Jelani's response. He was still somewhat unwilling to give it though, even after Apocalypse had shared some of his own life with him. It just wasn't natural for Jelani to be so open, and he had already revealed far more than he cared to do.
To distract his mind a little, maybe in hopes of pushing Apocalypse away as well, Jelani began to take note of the land again, the movement of his paws as he continued along. A part of him was tempted to look behind as well to see how much distance he'd covered, though it would likely prompt Apocalypse to comment far sooner. Besides, this place was all pretty much the same, he'd never find the spot he'd met Apocalypse again.
For some reason he finally gave in, finally opened his mouth to answer the harbinger. It wasn't an easy task though and it took a second before sound did actually leave his mouth. "I am alone." He stated slowly, forcing the words out. "There is no one I call friend or family anymore..." There was a heavy tone in his voice, one of pain and sadness, though his inner struggle to actually answer underlined his voice as well. No more words needed to be said, the emotion seeped through for the first time in a long time.
He had no idea why he did answer, perhaps because Apocalypse was in his mind, and so close to the answer anyway. Maybe on some level a part of him felt he would be left alone again if Apocalypse got all his answers. There was little thought again now, little concentration on anything apart from the harbinger's movements, waiting for the sound of his voice to fill his mind again. What would he say now? Would the questioning finally stop?
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Jun 4, 2010 12:13:11 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] Apocalypse pondered for a while, trying to decide if he was bored with this yagi yet. Part of him kind of licked the lonely wolf, he felt like there was a sort of sanctuary here, not being constantly plagued by thoughts of others while residing in a mind. He rolled over onto his back, as if enjoying a vacation.
"So, you are alone, therefore you don't worry about others. Aside survival what do you worry or think about? Do you not have a goal, or will you just wander till you die cold and alone?" There was no venom in his voice, it was nonchalant and conversational. His red blazing eyes seared through the recesses of the mind once more, as if double checking the scarcity.
" I will outlive you tenfold, so I do not really worry about my death, but you are only here for a fraction of time. Do thoughts of death come to your mind, or do you just live to live?" He was not usually a philosopher, but today was different, he had no real goal in mind with this yagi aside talking until they got out of the desert. He could not use him as a general, so there was no point trying to lure him in with promises of power. All he could do was talk with out strings, which, frankly was not that bad.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Jun 4, 2010 13:34:06 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]More thoughts that had never crossed his mind. He wasn't stupid, though it was rather safe to say that Jelani didn't use his mind at times. Of course he was going to die at some point, just like his family had all done, his death had never really crossed his mind though he'd spent plenty of time pondering death in general. Strange really though even now Jelani hardly worried about it.
He was alone in the world now, why would leaving alone make any difference? Now of course if he died a slow painful death it would be a little different, company a distraction would be nice. Perhaps Apocalypse would come back again, he was a rather big distraction; someone in his mind. He still couldn't quite get used to that, it simply wasn't all that normal. Jelani still had no idea what he was, simply knew that he would apparently live longer.
He was getting more talkative now, about himself dropping in little bits of information. Maybe he would mention what he actually was, that was something he could see himself wondering about for a while otherwise.
"Live to live I suppose." Jelani stated simply. He only thought of his parent's death, even now after those brief thoughts of his own he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It was inevitable, he'd die eventually.
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Jun 4, 2010 14:13:15 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] His tails thrashed in the mind's eye. He was not frustrated, per-say, it was just hard to have a one sided conversation. Though he was determined to be stubborn and keep with this wolf for the time being.
"Then you have an understanding, Jelani. To live." He was not sure why he was looking for common ground, it just seemed to be the thing to do. Maybe it would help convince the wolf to talk more...or to accept Apocalypse as an occasional companion. He liked to get his options open, and it was always handy to have a welcoming mind near by, as reclusive as it may be.
" Tell me, what is it you want to know? Perhaps you should talk for a while, might put your mind at ease to know that you are not insane." It may have been a weak attempt to get him to accept the idea of his presence, but he had to do something.
| |
|
|
|
Post by jelani on Jun 4, 2010 14:31:05 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,420,true] | [atrb=background,http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq254/Eldarwen5/Wonder%20Why/Tables/Mid.png]Jelani wasn't entirely sure whether the following point Apocalypse made was really necessary, it was rare to find someone who didn't wish to live, if they had the courage they didn't last long anyway. Although perhaps one could easily get the wrong idea from Jelani right now; the desert was rather warm and it had been a while since he'd seen food or water of any kind. He didn't ponder on that too long, it would only make him want it all the more.
The next comment caught his attention a little more though, was he free to question Apocalypse now, where the roles reversing. He wasn't generally all that curious about others, though the harbinger was something he had never seen or heard of before, it had brought out a slightly more curious side. And of course the belief that he may have been going insane. Apparently Apocalypse was used to such assumptions.
He tried to choose carefully, not quite sure how many questions he actually had. Would Apocalypse limit the number of things he'd allow the yagi to ask him? What he was truly bugged Jelani, though perhaps how he could do these things was a more puzzling matter. "What are you?" He questioned. "And not just a name, you're in my head, that's not normal how can you do such things?"
| |
|
|
|
Post by Apocalypse on Jun 7, 2010 9:18:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/wolfeh-6.png] Apocalypse was not usually one to allow questions to be put to him. He really had nothing to lose or gain with having this wolf, so he had nothing to fear about him knowing the truth, right? He had given up trying to force this wolf to work for him, for the moment he was just someone to talk to with out ulterior motives.
He chuckled at the question, "You word things cleverly, I will give you that." He cleared his throat, well made the sound that went along with clearing ones throat. "I identify myself as Apocalypse, so to me that is what I am. However, if you want a category, or species, to put me in, then I suppose I can oblige. I am an ageless legend. Over the centuries I have been called many things. A god, a specter, a spirit....even an illusion. But these days I am called a harbinger. Myself and those like me." He paused, feeling for the reaction.
" I am in your head, yes, because I am a being of thoughts and dreams. My realm is connected to yours through subconscious and emotions so to speak" He mulled over his own words, wanting to make sure that his explanation was acceptable.
| |
|
|