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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on May 21, 2010 10:09:38 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh lifted a hoof to his ear and traced the new scar backwards to his cheek. He was seated, awkwardly, on the meadows. The biting autumn sank its nippy fangs into him. But it was not as painful as the guilt he felt. He had left Gypsy. He didn’t know what had come over him when he… did the unspeakable to her. Was it himself? Or was it Destry? And if it was his deer soul, did he lose control or did he allow it to control him? Such questions felt heavy in his head. And his head was heavy enough with his ever-growing antlers.
Another point. They were a powerful spread and his once thin neck was starting to get some meat on it. He had a strong look to him about his forequarters and it was matched by his hindquarters. He looked more like a deer than anything and some days, especially after his days with Gypsy, he wished that he was a deer. It would definitely take away all the complexities of life. A deer had one reason to live and that was to make more deer.
“I have to find her.” His wolfish tail wagged slowly in an effort to raise his spirits, but to no avail. He made it to the last place he saw her. That spit fire expression. And the trail of blood he left behind. He could still smell the violence of that day. The river, however, seemed to glare at him. It seemed to move in slow motion. Perhaps he was just anchoring his guilt into it. He was making the flow of water seem accusatory.
“Ah, I have to set this right.”
And he had a feeling that such a mission would be futile. Still, he could call her. He tilted his head up and called for her.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on May 21, 2010 10:37:14 GMT -5
She came back to the meadow solely to find more herbs. The ones she had taken a few weeks earlier had failed, her belly still swelled with life. How she hated it. She new her whelping day was merely weeks away, she didn't want anything living to come out of her. She just wanted the spawn gone so she could have her life back. She held so much anger, her game had been thwarted when the deer changed the rules. Over a century of prevention, and now she had conceived.
She was tired, and the crisp wind felt nice in her silky pelt. She could no longer hide that she was pregnant, she had taken in less food, eaten poisonous herbs, all to try to stop it. But no, they still lived in her belly, feeding off her soul it seemed. Her jewel like eyes fell upon a tree, that would be a nice place to rest until she could find the herbs.
She walked over, glancing at the river that she found so calming, despite what happened beside it. Her ears perked up as she heard a call, she growled in response. He was summoning her? He had the gall to come back here and ask her to come to him.
The wind would carry her scent. She was not about to run up to him. She curled up under the tree and took in a deep sigh. She wondered if he would even catch her scent. It didn't matter. She would run into him soon enough.
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on May 22, 2010 13:58:45 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh drew his ears back. They lay flat against his head, as if they were painted upon him. His daring crown of antlers belied his true emotions. He felt so full of guilt, as if the inside of his body was rotting away. Why isn’t she answering? He could smell her on the wind. Most wolves have no idea how sharp the senses of their prey were. The only thing that made them catchable was their lesser intelligence.
The deer Myou gazed half-heartedly at the running waters. She wasn’t going to come to him. He should have known that. With a brisk turn of the head, he left the riverside in search of the female whom he had violated over a month ago. An accident. It had to be. Raleigh gave a sigh, not wanting to relive that attack again. He braced himself, half-expecting her to leap from a patch of taller grass and unleash her fury onto him.
He saw the tree before he saw her. It looked upon the river with a sense of fortitude. It seemed huge and lonely despite the fact that its size didn’t even come close to the size of the trees in the forest. He first approached it to rest and mull over his thoughts. But as he neared it, her scent became stronger.
“Gypsy?”
He stopped slowly, a few feet away from the tree. She lay on the other side. He knew it. Raleigh gave a nervous gulp before stepping daintily in a circle around the tree. Slowly, she became more and more visible. Her long legs graceful under her, her back in a lovely arc that cupped her frame, once delicate, but now bloated with life. Raleigh gave a gasp as he realized that it was he who was responsible for her appearance.
“Oh.” He had wide eyes, surprised. “So, how much longer?” He held his ears back and grinned nervously, apologetically.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on May 24, 2010 7:51:20 GMT -5
Her ears flickered at her name. It was strange coming from him. He stepped around the tree, magnificent antlers casting a shadow over Gypsy. Her bright eyes cut through the shadow like a knife and hit him in his own brown ones. She remained laying down, partially because he did not allow for the space she wanted to move.
She noted the surprise in his eyes, so he didn't know. He really had no way of knowing, aside the threat she had given him after the deed. He knew now, and that would make things complicated, especially her revenge. However, as always her true feelings on the matter were hidden away.
"A week or so." Her sentence was clipped and made of steel. She did not have the glowing aura of an expectant mother, but the cold fire of a woman scorned. Her eyes found the mark she had given him, a cruel smirk snaked its way over her velvety face. It was a pity it made him look distinguished. She wondered briefly then decided to ask about it, "So, how did you explain that to the Mrs.?"
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on May 24, 2010 13:46:20 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh averted his eyes nervously. Gypsy always took away his confidence and made him feel simple. “Well. I haven’t exactly told her yet…” He knew that that sounded bad. His ears flicked backwards for a split second to convey his worry before he brought them perked again. Raleigh couldn’t stop staring at her stomach. “Please. I’m sorry.” He lowered his head, but his bony antlers came too close to Gypsy. Sometimes, despite living in his half-deer body, he would forget that he was not a wolf—especially when being a wolf was obviously what he was. Gypsy’s pregnancy was his own doing. He was guilty.
“Just, how about this? I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of it. Anything.” Like a puppy, Raleigh squirmed under the pressure. Like a puppy, he couldn’t bear to be hated. He looked at his hooves because nothing scared him more than the face Gypsy made. “I still like you,” he meekly offered. He still did like her. He always liked her. Oh, how he wished he was wholly a wolf without the instincts of a deer influencing his actions.
“I just… wish you still liked me.” He knew the moment was terrible. He knew that telling her that he loved her now that she was one week from whelping his pups would only end terribly. “Gyp, I love you.” He looked at her with flowery eyes. He wanted forgiveness more than anything and he knew full-well that she probably would give him none.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on May 25, 2010 7:53:29 GMT -5
She snorted at his lack of confidence. He was just a coward wasn't he? She felt empowered by his squirming though, made her know who was in control. She glared at his apology, "Yeah, sorry's not going to cut it, whelp." She would have stood by this point she she was practically pinned to the tree with his antlers. She didn't like feeling cornered.
"You will take care of me? Right. Bang up job you've done so far. " She was tempted to snap at him, to make him back up so she had freedom to move. She was already taking care of it. As soon as she found more herbs...she wondered if it was futile. They were still squirming in her. Maybe they were too far developed for the herbs to work. She would have to take it to term....
Her icy stare remained on him, then, she heard that hated word again, "Love?" She practically snarled, "You do not love me, you are infatuated with me. You wanted an experienced teacher, which I would have been perfectly fine with had you played by MY rules. But no, you were impatience and brutish and now look what you've done." Her eyes blazed. She seemed to find herself so very angry at males the past few weeks.
She was growling now, the soft hair on her hackles bristling up slightly, "You still want a mistress? Well tough. Not until you learn restraint can you ever even hope to have me again. And as for the spawn, if they survive to term, I'm not taking care of them." She ducked under his antlers, coming close to his body to squeeze out from the tree and him.
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on May 25, 2010 9:01:08 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]When she ducked away, he noticed that he had pinned her against the tree. In frustration, he let out a self-hating growl. Raleigh backed up immediately. He wasn’t in the mood to apologize any more. He stamped a hoof. “I love you more than I do Li.” He shut his eyes. “I followed your rules. I did. But…” he tried to play with pity. Perhaps she would respond to that. However, Raleigh knew Gypsy all too well. She was a hard, callous female. He knew she would scoff at it, but he tried anyway. He just wanted her back.
“It’s hard. It’s hard. I played by your rules. It’s the buck who didn’t. Destry didn’t.” He looked at his hooves, realizing that he was hardly a wolf if he let the deer soul within him take charge. “Please, please take me back. I’ll be good.” He stood nobly, but his blood was running cold in his veins.
Raleigh neared her, but this time, she didn’t have the tree to be pinned against. However, she had nowhere to run. And being pregnant severely impaired her ability to flee from the fleet-footed deer-wolf. Raleigh still attempted to gain back her trust. He raised his tail. “I’ll be good,” he repeated. “I promise. I’ll do whatever you ask.”
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on May 25, 2010 9:28:48 GMT -5
She did scoff, then she turned to face him, "If it's too hard then don't play the game. Was it the deer? Oh then that changes absolutely everything." Sarcasm was laced with arsenic in her mocking-overly-sweet voice. Then she glared, hard as steel once again, "The deer is you. Don't blame it for what you did, as if you are separate from it"
"You'll be good, huh? As if I would take your word.You want to do as I ask? Then leave me al----" She stopped mid sentence as a pain wracked her body. She was too shocked to yelp, or even finish her demand. She buckled over, being forced to the ground. Consequently she had to lean on Rawls for a moment before she was on her side, her body being overtaken by labor pains.
"Damnit all! Not now...." She snarled at her body, she was a little confused, this was one thing that she had never experienced in her long life time. Actually bearing young. Why was it early? Had the herbs mixed with the heated arguments of the past few days really done that much to her?
She glared up at Raleigh, anger mixed with pain and confusion swam through her eyes. He did this to her. Her revenge could not be met. Not with him standing over her like this. Deep down underneath the hard calloused shell, a small voice questions in her mind Would it had been like this...if he never left me? Her mind swirled over her past, a shadowy figure with a charming smile was walking away. She looked at the myou's face. It seemed to change...taking on the form of that shadowy sennyo, his face lost to the years, but that smile still there.
Gypsy groaned and closed her eyes, pushing back the memories, the emotional pain, the torment of abandonment. A love never requited by a mate who didn't want pups. Pups meant pain to Gypsy. Now this was a physical pain being manifested from the past....
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Jun 1, 2010 12:16:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh prepared a retort as she spoke of things that she could not possibly understand. He was the deer in some aspects, but he was also not the deer. A mind-bender, in his opinion. The deer Myou’s hackles were raised as her sickly sweet voice stirred his mind into fiery rage. And then, as soon as he found an opening in which to place his own speech, Gypsy fell into the pains of labor.
There was something of a smile in Raleigh’s thoughts when he saw the bitchy female doubled over in pain. He felt a bit glad to see her struggling through the pains of motherhood. But as soon as he felt that sick gratification, it gave way to guilt that he could take pleasure from her pain. She leaned on him and it somehow quelled his guilt. It was as if she depended on him. Perhaps he could use this moment of weakness, of her guard going down, to finally right their relationship.
Raleigh repeated his promise. “I’ll be good. If you want me to.” He twisted it into a bargain. He wanted her to plead for his help. Eyes forward, nonchalantly. He was almost disgusting in how quickly he could sift through emotions. He had seesawed from mentally laughing at her pain to feeling sorry, and, finally, he edged back to icy cruelty. His only mission was to set things right. He would do this with any means necessary. Gypsy had taught him well. Emotions, feelings, and they weren’t as important as the task at hand.
But then again, he didn’t know if he would be able to leave her if she didn’t want him around.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Jun 2, 2010 7:52:51 GMT -5
She seemed repulsed once she managed to focus on what was going on. First, she was touching him in a needy way, second, her body was acting on it's own, and thirdly, her past had crept up on her. This day sucked. She pushed off of him, as if meaning to walk away from him. She only made it a few steps before pain froze her in place. She was panting now, she eased to the cold ground, it was all she could do.
Her ears flattened on her head as he placed his bargain. She was in no mood to play right now. She growled over her narrow shoulder, "What I want, is you to leave me the hell alone." Her light weight tail was lashing her wings fluttering as if a nervous tic, and her abdomen rippling with labor pains.
She knew she had no strength to make him leave. She just wanted to get the pups out and leave them for the scavengers. There was no motherly love in her heart. Nor was there want of devotion. She wondered if he would stay with her, if he would force her to stay there and care for his spawn. Her lip curled at the thought, she knew she was no match for him when brute strength came into play. All she could do was wait.
With a yelp the fluid started coming out, soon a small body was beginning to squirm toward the entrance, ready to be brought into the cold world by a cruel mother.
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Jun 3, 2010 13:27:54 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]She lay herself down, and it seemed she was disgusted that she had to lean on the Deer Myou. It quietly made him feel the echo of shame he used to feel.
Raleigh looked at Gypsy. “You really want to be alone?” He saw her heavy body going through the pains. He abandoned his streak of cruelty. His mood swung like a pendulum between black and white, but his intention was always the same: to right that that has been wronged. His relationship with her has soured. He looked as she suffered through contractions, not knowing what to do. If he stayed, she’d hate him. If he left, she’d hate him. He gave a rejected sigh, but chose to stay. He watched as she struggled through the process—which was foreign to her. And it was then that Raleigh realized that he had more experience here than she did. Truly, for things to go right, she did depend on him.
Birthing fluids erupted from her and spilled on the grass. A small head poked out of the new mother and Raleigh turned his eyes away embarrassingly. It was alright with Linnea, who was his true mate. But Gypsy, who hated his very existence… it made it seem dirty and wrong.
“Gypsy, you have to push now. The pup will come out. Your body will tell you when.” Raleigh felt that he was chained to Gypsy now. At least until he saw the birth through. These pups were his blood. Gypsy’s suffering was his doing. If she died by this labor, her blood would be on his paws. “I’m just making sure you won’t die. Mothers have died by being alone.” He explained. He didn’t know if she had heard him.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Jun 3, 2010 13:39:13 GMT -5
She did want to be alone, however instinct was telling her that that was not the correct course of action. Her ears were pinned so hard on her head it hurt, she just wanted it to be over. For once she did not have a poisonous retort for the sire. It was all she could do just to remain stationary and attempt to focus.
His voice did reach her, she swallowed her bile soaked pride and decided to listen to him. She hated to admit that she needed help, so she wouldn't. She would just listen to him with out making it known. She pushed several times, eventually the first pup did slide out. The dark slimy mass wriggled and began making the strangest noises.
Her instinct was to reach down and clean it, but her will was too strong. She left it there and focused on expelling the others. Another mass made it's way through her, about to start it's own journey into the light. She paused though, taking a break to pant and hopefully give her body a chance to catch up.
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Jun 6, 2010 18:23:13 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Raleigh frowned when she did not lick the pup. He didn’t say anything despite the fact that he wanted to explain to her that these were her pups, her own blood. But he figured that she knew that already. The dark, slimy pup wheezed through the mucus in its throat and Raleigh sighed before his better nature took over and went to the pup. Raleigh licked the pup and pressed it against Gypsy’s stomach to suckle its first meal. It coughed and refused at first, but then, as soon as it got a whiff of the life-giving food, it latched on.
The father looked at the cub lovingly, but knew that such a moment was, at best, bittersweet. The only reason he dared to put the pup into such a situation—against the teat of Gypsy—was because he thought that she was too tired and too occupied with what was happening to her body to hurt the puppy. Raleigh liked this feeling of power over Gypsy that he had at this moment. He felt strong when she was lying on the ground, in need of his experience and knowledge. And at the mercy of what he was willing to give her. Because she lorded the fact that she was smarter and more experienced than he, it felt doubly good to have her low and with her body whelping pups.
Conceitedly, Raleigh said, “And you can tell me when you are ready for the next to come, Gypsy.” He smiled smartly and added, “Are you not glad I stayed?” A poor choice of words if she was able to hurt him. But her pain made him brave.
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Gypsy
Styrrstdar Cadre
Beta Female[M:40][A:6] [SG:0]
Cypress
Posts: 222
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Post by Gypsy on Jun 6, 2010 20:43:50 GMT -5
She growled a warning when he stepped closer to her to get the pup, but it was not long. She watched with narrow eyes as he cleaned the whelp, but soon they just closed. She really had not been taking care of herself in an attempt to end the pregnancy. She was tired, so much of her energy was in her anger of the past few months. Right now, deep down, she was irate that she was having a premature birth. Sure she wanted Rawls to know about them, but she had wanted to abandon them at his door stop to have him find them dead.
Her ire kept her awake long enough to begin pushing the other pups out. She snapped open her eyes when she felt pressure on her belly and tiny teeth bite into her. Her lip curled at the pup at her stomach, she was tempted to bite it in half. She was only stopped because the second pup was on it's way. She groaned and turned away from the situation, allowing her body to go through the motions.
Soon the second one did come and, like the first was a wriggling mass. She didn't even have time to look at it before her entire body rippled with a spasm. This was different than the other two, it was like her body was ejecting excess tissue. Pain ripped through her abdomen and she screamed in rage at the sensation. Her mood was not aided by the mewling of the second pup. Through it all, she managed to hear his words, finally, as if they had been floating in the air.
"No, Raleigh. I'm not glad one bit." Her words were through gritted fangs. How many more abominations were inside her? Her eyes stung with angry tears of pain.
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Post by Raleigh (Rawls) on Jun 9, 2010 16:26:20 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true] | [atrb=background,http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq94/NuckyGirl/rawlsrawls-1.png]Soon after, the second puppy was born, Raleigh quickly cleaned him off and placed the pup at Gypsy’s teat. Raleigh was torn between feeling pity and amusement. He was worried for Gypsy, yes, but as the labor rolled on, he was mostly entertained by the fact that she was suffering. His mind twisted until he held onto that idea. That he had caused her pain. Every time she opened her mouth, it seemed to be some sort of jab at him. And the barbed words were starting to make him feel glad that he had put her through such pain. Still, his love for her, probably formed by how inaccessible she was to him, kept him by her side despite her harsh attitude toward him.
He was about to make a retort to her angry words. She had forced them through gritted teeth. She said them through her pain. However, Raleigh couldn’t dare to speak a reply of equal sting. It seemed that something was wrong. The pups at her teats ignorantly continued suckling despite the odd spasms that took over her.
It was not normal.
There was a sort of rhythm when a mother bears her young. A kind of tide that surges and retreats in a precise pace—chosen by nature. Any irregularity is felt by the mother the instant it happens. And, to any other who had seen first-hand the miracle of birth—it is just as apparent. “Something’s wrong,” Raleigh said, quietly. It made her words prior seem unattached to him. Ineffectual. As if he hadn’t even heard them. He turned his eye to view her entirely. She was the image of suffering.
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